DFW Mustang Forums banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
None
Joined
·
10,576 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Here's a link to some LoTR snippets written in the style of such authors as Mark Twain, Mickey Spillane, and even Dr. Suess.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=138905&perpage=50&pagenumber=1

"I can not, will not hold the One.
You have a slim chance, but I have none.
I will not take it on a boat,
I will not take it across a moat.
I cannot take it under Moria,
that's one thing I can't do for ya.
I would not bring it into Mordor,
I would not make it to the border."

-excerpt from Dr. Suess's LOTR.
 

·
None
Joined
·
10,576 Posts
Discussion Starter · #2 ·
Strickly for AbecX:

LotR Z
"This foe is beyond any of you... his power Level has reached at least 30,000 after fighting every Dwarf in Moria. Ki Fhy to the gate Aragorn, you must lead them on!" The muscles beneath Gandalf'sGrey Cloak strained in anticipation of the coming battle.

Soon after, when they were nearly at the gate, the Balrog launched a surprise Ki attack, knocking down Borrmir and stunning Blazing Fist Gimli.

Gandfalf turned to face him. "Fool!" said he, I don't have time for this nonsense... "Pure Flame of Arnor Shield Wall Strike!" The massive energy wall sstreaked off towards the Balrog, who was knocked flying... though no-one was sure whether or not he had wings.

"Raaaaauuuugggg! Gandalf, I have not shown you my true power!

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

five minutes later

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
aaaaaaaaa!

Now I am a Super Balrog 2!!!!! My power level has gone up to 3 million!"

Gandalf just smirked. "I probably shoud have told you, after you left the service of Eru, we figured out a few new tricks. Here's a good one:

Kaaaaaaaaaa------Meeeeeeee------Haaaaaaqa-----Meeeeee----

-The Balrog laughed in anticipation of Gndalf's feeble attack-

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

The resulting explosion threw the Balrog back agaoinst the walls of Moria. His expression turned to one of complete disbelief. "Urrrghhh.... Ahhh... Ugghhhhh.... That's...not possible...."

The rest of the Fellowship of the Z Ring stared, twitching slightly and grunting in awe at Gandalf!

Gandalf grinned, "another one of those tricks I learned... I learned how to Hide my POWER level!"
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top