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Along for the ride
7,029 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
josh aka 92greenmonster sent this to me. it is hilarious. RC Slocum sucks and it's time for a new head football coach in Aggieland. i know all my fellow aggies will like this.


>>I just got word that R.C. is writing a new motivational book
for coaches. Here is a list of chapters.
"Blue-chip Talent - Cow Chip Coaching: The RC Slocum Guide to
Motivating the College Football Player"

Chapter 1: How to Roll Over in the Fourth Quarter and Lose
Winnable Games While Somehow Maintaining Alumni Support For Ten Consecutive Years
Chapter 2: Running out the clock when you have 3 Quarters of
Football left to go
Chapter 3: The Art of Running up the middle
Chapter 4: The 3rd and Long Draw
Chapter 5: The Prevent Offense: Do's and Don'ts
Chapter 6: Finding a kicker, it's harder that you might think
Chapter 7: How to do the mathematical formula for determining
that half the teams that play every Saturday will lose
Chapter 8: Seven habits of highly defective coaches.
Chapter 9 - The art of the post-game press conference: "I don't know", "Um I guess", and other inspiring phrases.
Chapter 10: How to spend $1 Million you didn't earn
Chapter 11: Think and grow mediocre
Chapter 12: The Art of Making poor quarterbacks candidates for
the Heisman.
Chapter 13: How to place blame for failure on your assistant coaches--the aw shucks method
Chapter 14: The Art of Firing the Offensive Coordinators
Chapter 15: How to turn a feared and hallowed home field into a pit stop on the road from national prominence to mediocrity.
Chapter 16: How to make piss poor teams sound like they are
National Championship contenders (in order to have an excuse when you lose)
Chapter 17: "How to Avoid Questions on Your Monday Night Radio
Call In Show--the Screen and Filibuster Technique."
Chapter 18 The art of telling recruits what an honor it was
winning the Gallery Furniture Bowl.
Appendix I- a listing of all possible excuses to be used after
a loss or bad season. This is a laminated, perforated page, perfect for talking to a press conference or radio show. Excuses include:
Fine football team
Fine football players
Tough conference
No general studies program
Small office
Half the teams lose each week
Media bias
and more!!

given a password and can access our internet site immediately after a loss. You will have access on up to date information on other teams who lost on the same day, good teams having bad seasons, and even teams who went to the crappy bowl game you are going to this year who are doing well now. Use this information to craft such Slocum masterpieces as these-
"Notre Dame isn't going to a bowl game this year, and we are".
"Last year Oklahoma was in the Independence Bowl, and this year they are playing for the national championship. We're right where we want to be".
"OU was ahead of Tulsa 3-0 at the half also. That just shows
you that great teams have slow starts, like we did today".

328 Posts

I didn't see the chapter about having the tailbacks towards the water cooler. :)
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