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These are funny..

> 2002 Darwin Awards:
>
> Hard to believe, but another year has passed...
> (For those who don't
> know about it, the Darwin Awards are awarded every
> year to the
> person(s) who died in the stupidest way, thereby
> removing them-
> selves from the gene pool...)
>
> The nominees are:
>
> NOMINEE No. 1: [San Jose Mercury News]: An
> unidentified man, using
> a shotgun like a club to break a former
> girlfriend's windshield,
> accidentally shot himself to death when the gun
> discharged, blowing
> a hole in his gut.
>
> NOMINEE No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]: James Burns,
> 34, (a mechanic) of
> Alamo, Mich., was killed in March as he was trying
> to repair what
> police describe as a "farm-type truck."
> Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway
> while Burns hung
> underneath so that he could ascertain the source of
> a troubling
> noise. Burns' clothes caught on something,
> however, and the other
> man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft".
>
> NOMINEE No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles
> Barger, 47,
> accidentally shot himself to death in December in
> Newton, N.C.
> Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone
> beside his bed, he
> reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith &
> Wesson .38
> Special, which discharged when he drew it to his
> ear.
>
> NOMINEE No. 4: [UPI, Toronto]: Police said a
> lawyer demonstrating
> the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto
> skyscraper crashed through
> a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to
> his death.
> A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into
> the courtyard of the
> Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as
> he was explaining
> the strength of the building's windows to visiting
> law students. Hoy
> previously had conducted demonstration of window
> strength according
> to police reports. Peter Lawyers, managing partner
> of the firm Holden
> Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy
> was one of the
> best and brightest" members of the 200-man
> association.
>
> NOMINEE No. 5: ["News of the Weird"]: Michael
> Anderson Godwin made
> News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent
> several years awaiting
> South Carolina's electric chair on a murder
> conviction before having
> his sentence reduced to life in prison. While
> sitting on a metal
> toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small
> TV set, he bit
> into a wire and was electrocuted.
>
> NOMINEE NO. 6: ["The Indianapolis Star"]: A
> cigarette lighter may
> have triggered a fatal explosion in Dunkirk,
> Indiana. A Jay County
> man using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel
> of a muzzle loader
> was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged
> in his face,
> sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor,
> 19, died in his
> parents' rural Dunkirk home about 11:30 p.m.
> Investigators said
> Pryor was cleaning a 54-caliber muzzle loader that
> had not been firing
> properly. He was using the lighter to look into
> the barrel when the
> gunpowder ignited.
>
> NOMINEE No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]: A
> man cleaning a bird
> feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment
> in this Toronto
> suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death.
> Stefan Macko, 55,
> was standing on a wheel chair when the accident
> occurred, said
> Inspector D'Arcy Honer of the Peel Regional police.
> "It appears the
> chair moved and he went over the balcony," Honer
> said.
>
> AND FINALLY: [Arkansas Democrat Gazette]: Two
> local men were
> seriously injured when their pickup truck left the
> road and struck a
> tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early
> Monday morning.
> Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the
> accident shortly
> after midnight Monday.
> Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray
> Wallis, 38, of Little
> Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist
> Medical Center.
> The accident occurred as the two men were returning
> to Des Arc after
> a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night,
> Poole's pick-up
> truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men
> concluded that the
> headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned
> out. As a
> replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed
> that the 22 caliber
> bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse
> box next to the
> steering wheel column.
> After inserting the bullet, the headlights again
> began to operate
> properly and the two men proceeded toward the White
> River bridge.
> After traveling about 20 miles and just before
> crossing the river,
> the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and
> struck Poole in the
> right testicle.
> The vehicle swerved sharply right exiting the
> pavement and striking
> a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and
> abrasions from the
> accident, but will require surgery to repair the
> other wound. Wallis
> sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and
> released.
> "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of
> the world, but this
> is a first for me. I can't believe that those two
> would admit how this
> accident happened," said Snyder.
> Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's
> wife asked how many
> frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them
> from the truck.
> (Way to go, Lavinia).
>
 
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