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-   -   Parrot (https://www.dfwstangs.net/forums/26-jokes/365734-parrot.html)

Tx Redneck 07-11-2008 04:38 AM

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot?'

The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.'

'Holy crap,' the guy replies. 'You actually
understood and answered me!'

'I got every word,' says the parrot. 'I happen to be a highly intelligent
thoroughly educated bird.'

'Oh yeah?' the guy asks, 'Then answer this -- how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?'

'Well,' the parrot says, 'this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I
wrap my weenie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it because of my feathers.'

'Wow,' says the guy. '
You really can understand and speak English can't you?'

'Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion,
sports, physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology.. You
really ought to buy me. I'd be a great companion.'

The guy looks at the
$200.00 price tag. 'Sorry, but I just can't afford that.'

'Pssssssst,' says the parrot, 'I'm defective, so th e truth is, nobody wants me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me
for $20; just make the guy an offer!'

The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he's insightful.
The guy is delighted.

One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes, 'Psssssssssssst,' and motions him over with one wing. 'I don't know if I
should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the UPS man..'

'What are you talking about?' asks the guy.

'When the UPS man delivered a package
today, your wife greeted him at the door in a sheer black nightie.'

'WHAT???' the guy asks incredulously. 'THEN what happened?'

'Well, then the UPS man came into the house and
lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over,' reported the

'NO!' he exclaims. 'And she let him?'

'Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over.....'

Then the frantic guy demands, 'THEN WHAT HAPPENED?'

'Damned if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!'

If this doesn't make you laugh, you're having a really bad day.

krazy kris 07-11-2008 04:43 AM

lmao! awesome

grove rat 07-11-2008 05:45 AM


SY04Mustang 07-11-2008 09:20 AM

haha pretty good

BLAKE 07-11-2008 04:23 PM


bjtheman1 07-14-2008 11:39 AM

LMAO, not bad

junior 07-15-2008 12:00 PM


poor parrot


turbosvo 07-15-2008 03:32 PM

:D that was a good one

Clifton 07-15-2008 06:59 PM

Nothing like a good stiffy to put you on your head! :p

bronco71 07-15-2008 07:02 PM

:D :rolleyes:

Last5oh 07-15-2008 07:06 PM


mustang87 07-15-2008 07:11 PM

good one

01YZ2NV 07-15-2008 09:32 PM

Pretty dang funny :D

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