Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Not now chief, i'm in the fuckin zone
A movie so bad, I walked out...of my living room that is
I rented "I'm Not There". Ruminations on the life of Bob Dylan, where six characters embody a different aspect of the musician's life and work. Lots of big names in this one. Yet, so bad I walked out of my living room in the middle of it (53 minutes in). Total garbage. I feel swindled. If you are thinking of blowing 4 bucks to rent it, take a 5 dollar bill flush it down the toilet and you're all set.
The cast consisted of: Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett, Richard Gere, Julianne Moore, Heath Ledger, Michelle Williams and some others.
Now on to another pile of garbage.
Now for the most over-rated movie iíve ever seen: Atonement
After so much hype about how great this film was, I finally broke down and rented it the other night. Lets face it, its no secret that i'll watch movies like Titanic or I can even stomach a good chic flick like The Notebook on occasion. I'm an actor and drama acting is my strong point. If anything watching a drama is research and study for me. On this night I was in the mood for an adequate drama. I figured such a highly regarded film would fit the bill. What I got was over-hyped, over-rated garbage. Allow me to elaborate. 10 things I hate about Atonement.
1. Mumbling. Several scenes were poorly lit and the lines are delivered in a mumbling tone. How about we make the french translation subtitles a little smaller? I could still faintly make them out and figure out what was being said after rewinding.
2. James Mcavoy is lying in a tub and a Lancaster flies over head. Hmmm, this is the 1930's, that aircraft didn't come out until 1942. 1 of a hundred military inconsistencies in a movie that only threw in a brief WWII segment to attempt to give the male lead some sort of sympathy from the audience. To take him away from his "love."
3.A similar rant. The scene that is supposed to be Dunkirk. How about we cram more shit in this scene and get most of the military aspects of this setup completely wrong yet again. All that was missing was pink gun turrets. I haven't seen military setup this bad since I saw Paulie Shores "In the Army Now."
4. Useless flashbacks. How about we flashback to 3 weeks earlier to add....well nothing to the story, the character or anything for that matter. Lets do another flashback just to be crafty and neat. No time, we have to flashback to a frog near a pond from 1 year earlier....now 10 years ahead of where we were before we flashed back to now.
5. It is not uncommon to see "filler" to extend a movie. Why you would do that to make a movie that didn't need it and would have gone beyond 90 minutes on its own is beyond me. Atonement does just that. Lets just drag on and on to see if we can hit the 2 hour mark. We did it, 2 hours and 3 minutes! Lets stop developing characters and have the characters walking around daydreaming about the past instead.
6. **** spoiler alert skip to #7 to avoid****** How about the title of the movie? At what point does Briony atone for her crime? By being a nurse? This is the atonement for lying and marking someone a pedophile and rapist for life? Oh wait, i'll confess after they are dead, 50 years later and then admit that yes, I was a coward. Atonement? Horseshit.
7. This movie had one thing going for it, cinematography. Make no mistake, every shot is just one boring setup to showcase that one positive. And leave it to the Oscars to look past everything else and buy in to it hook line and sinker.
8. Kiera Knightly, James Mcavoy. No problem with these 2 actors, unfortunately the chemistry between them in the beginning is so bad, I actually thought that Kiera's character was uninterested him, leaving me confused. Fortunately their chemisty does somewhat improve.
9. Lets rehash the same point over and over again. Apparently, i'm assuming this movie was taken directly from the book and I have to wonder if the book is this bad, but how many times can we drive the same points home. Most directors cut scenes once the point has been made. Not this one.
10. Other suitable titles: Cliche, Bad Story Telling 101, How many suckers will think this movie is romantic and heart wrenching?, No Resolution, No Atonement, Almost Atonement but whoops, I lied and finally: We wanted to call it "The Notebook 2" but We Figured We'd try to Fool You of our True Intentions and Lets Face it, This Title is too Long Anyway.
In conclusion this movie is a fraud. It is pretentious and weak. I can't believe it received such acclaim. Actually I can. The ending is good. I can see where it would revive it enough for most. But not me. And I admit, I liked the ending so much, that it actually almost saves it for me. Almost. But not quite. You take out the last 10 minutes and it's garbage.
Positives: cinematography, acting and the ending
Negatives: everything else
P.S. Kiera, eat a sandwich.
P.S.S. Kiera, I still love you.