Ruling on Barry Bonds's Record(s): - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-27-2006, 11:59 AM Thread Starter
#4 Best QB Ever
 
That_Is_My_El_Camino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Land of the Free
Posts: 29,339
Exclamation Ruling on Barry Bonds's Record(s):

MLB To Place Asterisk, Pound Sign, Exclamation Point, Letter 'F' Next To Bonds' Name In Record Books

May 25, 2006 | Onion Sports

SAN FRANCISCO— Commissioner Bud Selig announced Wednesday that, once the Giants slugger retires, his name in the official MLB record books will be forever accompanied by an asterisk, followed by a pound sign and exclamation point, all preceded by the letter 'F'—a string of characters that, according to Selig, "will always be associated with Barry Bonds."

"When my children's grandchildren open up their Baseball Almanac a hundred years from now, they'll see this enduring, universally understood symbol right next to Barry's name," Selig said. "And when they do, they'll immediately know that this sequence of characters—F*#!—reflects history's attitude toward not only the conditions under which he was able to hit his home runs, but also the historical implications he had on the game and its records, the relationship he had with the media and fans during his momentous chase, and just the general atmosphere of baseball in an era he will come to embody."

"These symbols say more about Barry Bonds and his contributions to this sport than any mere number ever could," Selig added.

The decision, which Selig characterized as the only way to accurately convey that Barry Bonds hit his 714-plus home runs under "some pretty goddamn special circumstances," is reminiscent of a similar one made in 1961 by then-commissioner Ford Frick. Frick suggested that an asterisk be placed next to Roger Maris' single-season home-run record of 61, an annotation used to explain that Maris hit his home runs over the course of an expanded 162-game season rather than a 154-game season.

According Selig, the symbol that will be placed next to Bonds' name requires no further explanation.

"When people think of Roger Maris, they immediately think 'asterisk,'" Selig said. "And when people of this and future generations think of Barry Bonds, they will immediately think F*#!"

Most experts, fans, teammates, and those close to the seven-time MVP say that, while Maris was never able to adjust to the stigma of being remembered as a historical footnote, Bonds is already used to constantly hearing the phrase "F*#!" everywhere he goes.

Baseball fans around the country have applauded Selig's decision, with many agreeing that Bonds' accomplishments deserve to be emphasized in such a fashion, and with some even vehemently insisting that his name be accompanied by an even longer string of symbols and letters.

"The first thing I said when I saw Bonds hit No. 714 was, 'Aww, F*#!'" said Oakland resident Roger Jaffe, who was in attendance at the game during which Bonds tied Ruth, and who claims to have heard many fans mutter the exact same thing. "But the more I think about it, there are at least a thousand other variations on it that may be even more appropriate to describe Bonds and his career."

All-time home-run leader Hank Aaron contacted the chairman of the Society for American Baseball Research's records committee, saying that, should Bonds approach his home-run total of 755, he would like "some input as to what appears next to Bonds' name."

"I have been thinking about this for quite some time, and I have upwards of 200 very good suggestions that I think they might like to hear," Aaron said.

Major League Baseball has specified that the 'F'–asterisk–pound sign–exclamation point symbol will only appear next to Bonds' name in the all-time home-run category, with his name in other categories to be accompanied by symbols more fitting for that particular one, including: an "at" symbol, two dollar signs, a pound sign, an asterisk, and Nos. 1 and 3 (@$$#*13) next to his single-season home-run total of 73; two series of five asterisks—the first preceded by the letter 'M' and the second preceded by the letter 'F' (M***** F*****)—next to his single-season slugging-percentage record of .863; and a sequence of letters reading "The bastard used to be pretty goddamn good in his own right without the fucking steroids" next to his eight Gold Glove Awards.

"F*#! Barry Bonds, 714 F*#!^&% home runs," Selig said, reading a line out of the most updated version of this year's record book. "F*#! Barry Bonds."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/48895


Quote:
Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
That_Is_My_El_Camino is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2006, 11:00 PM
Saint's heart sinner skin
 
hotrod66stang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 2,113
F*#! Barry Bonds.
hotrod66stang is offline  
post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-28-2006, 11:47 PM
4's a Charm!
 
midnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Far, Far away
Posts: 1,096
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotrod66stang
F*#! Barry Bonds.
Ditto!
midnight is offline  
 
post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2006, 12:18 AM
Ultimate X-phoria
 
Hollywood's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Not now chief, i'm in the fuckin zone
Posts: 19,895
Quote:
Originally Posted by hotrod66stang
F*#! Barry Bonds.

You can say that again. LMAO @ at all the idiots that stand up for him.
Hollywood is offline  
post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-29-2006, 12:34 AM
mannish boy
 
Cooter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: drunk on diesel
Posts: 31,758
LMAO @ Bonds for being a prick... if he wasn't such a fuckin' cocksucker, nobody would give a shit!

ok, some dumbasses who think that nobody does steroids in pro sports might...

but he's just a dick, that's the bottom line...

juice all you want, I don't care, but come clean and or don't be a high and mighty hypocrite asshole about it
Cooter is offline  
post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-30-2006, 06:59 AM
Out
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 41,952
Fake story and all pro athletes are pricks, assholes, pompus, etc...

To some extent.
Denny is offline  
post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-30-2006, 07:04 AM
Lifer
 
JimD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Haughton,La,USA
Posts: 14,152
F*#! that stupid motherfF*#! er
JimD is offline  
post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-30-2006, 07:11 AM
Lifer
 
46Tbird's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 33,187
I think it's funny as all hell when people say that Bonds hasn't "failed a steroid test."

He fucking admitted using them!
Quote:
December 3, 2004, 8:49 AM CST

SAN FRANCISCO -- Baseball star Barry Bonds told a federal grand jury that he used a clear substance and a cream given to him by a trainer who was indicted in a steroid-distribution ring but denied knowing they were steroids, according to a report published Friday.
http://chicagosports.chicagotribune....orts-headlines




F*#! Barry Bonds, F*#!^&% 715 home runs, and "F*#! Barry Bonds. Babe did it with beer and hot dogs.
46Tbird is offline  
post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-30-2006, 09:48 AM Thread Starter
#4 Best QB Ever
 
That_Is_My_El_Camino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Land of the Free
Posts: 29,339
LOLz!
Quote:
he used a clear substance and a cream given to him by a trainer who was indicted in a steroid-distribution ring but denied knowing they were steroids.
Yep, he sux0rz @ teh lyering!!!


Quote:
Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
That_Is_My_El_Camino is offline  
post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 05-30-2006, 10:08 AM
BOOSTED32V Jr.
 
SVTVenom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: The 40 Acres
Posts: 12,385
Quote:
Originally Posted by 46Tbird
I think it's funny as all hell when people say that Bonds hasn't "failed a steroid test."

He fucking admitted using them!

http://chicagosports.chicagotribune....orts-headlines




F*#! Barry Bonds, F*#!^&% 715 home runs, and "F*#! Barry Bonds. Babe did it with beer and hot dogs.
Thats from leaked grand jury testimony, which is illegal to release to the public w/o the judge's approval, so it could be total bullshit. They've got no acutal way to prove that he said that other than "Hey, I saw it on a piece of paper."
SVTVenom is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome