Never settle always excel
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Dallas Area, Texas
A joke for the Horns fans!
An Aggie, a Horn and a Red Raider were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offense in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!
However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheik decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik suddenly said, "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."
The Red Raider was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said, "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Red Raider had to be carried away bleeding and weak with pain when the punishment was done but head held high. He smiled and said "get your guns up."
The Horn was next up (he almost finished an entire fifth by himself), and after watching the scene, said "All Right! Please fix two pillows on my back." But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again, sending the Horn out crying like the little girly man he so clearly was (a la Hans und Franz).
The Aggie was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheik turned to him and said, "You support the most spirited school in the world, your alumni has the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!"
"Thanks, your most Royal highness," the Aggie replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."
"Not only are you an honorable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave," the Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks.
"Tie the Horn to my back."