Hockey question - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 08:30 AM Thread Starter
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
Hockey question

Why don't hockey teams recruit extremely obese people for goalies? I'm talking 700 lbs and up. Seriously, just cover them in padding, get them down to the rink and slide them in front of the goal. Lay them on one side right against it, and have them wave their gloved arm in front of the top portion that is uncovered. It would be virtually impossible to score. Obviously, I can't be the first person to think of this. Is there a weight/size limit? A rule against laying in front of the goal? Something I'm not thinking of?
jluv is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 08:57 AM
Worship me
 
AL P's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Posts: 34,345
They have to be fairly agile because once they go down they have to get up quick.
AL P is offline  
post #3 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 09:15 AM Thread Starter
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
Quote:
Originally Posted by AL P
They have to be fairly agile because once they go down they have to get up quick.

Why do they have to get up at all? Is that a rule in hockey?
jluv is offline  
 
post #4 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 10:27 AM
Axe Em Jacks
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Dallas
Posts: 425
Quote:
Originally Posted by jluv
Why do they have to get up at all? Is that a rule in hockey?
No, but there is no person alive that could cover up the ENTIRE opening of the goal and be agile enough to move around without falling down. A player only needs a space slightly bigger than the puck to score a goal, and no one person can cover that entire space, especially not lying down. If that were possible, teams would have been getting freakish lardasses in goal a long time ago.

"Every book is a kid's book if the kid can fuckin read!!" - Mitch Hedberg

2001 Ford Focus ZX3... Ryobi head, DeWalt Cams, Craftsman forged crank. It's fassssssssst.
Lumberjack77 is offline  
post #5 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 10:29 AM
Lifer
 
Buick355's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 14,251
Plus a goalie does more than block shots, he acts as a 3rd defenseman when breaking out of the zone.
Buick355 is offline  
post #6 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 10:30 AM
Lifer
 
Wicked98Snake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Valley Ranch
Posts: 1,169
This is a great question, that I myself have often wondered.

Powdered doughnuts make me go nuts!
Wicked98Snake is offline  
post #7 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 11:46 AM Thread Starter
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
I still haven't heard a logical answer. Understand, I am not talking about anyone who is capable of standing on two skates. I literally am referring to those HUMONGOUS people that get trapped in their homes and stuff from being too fat. I say slide them out, lay them on their side, and put them right up against the goal. Their body would cover everything except maybe a sliver at the top. Keep in mind they would also have huge padding on, and they could use the arm on their top side to try and block most of what small space is left. It would be a miracle to score in such a small space. Plus, if they stuck out far enough, the angle would make it that much more difficult. And how tall are the goals? I would bet there are people out there fat enough to cover every square inch while laying on their side. If not, they could come VERY close. They don't have to be agile. They don't have to stand. They are nothing more than a giant plug. Why wouldn't this work?
jluv is offline  
post #8 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 11:51 AM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 14,194
I think maybe because it would make the game boring? People wanna see cool plays, nice saves, and goals.

You stick a 700lbs guy in front of it, the game will only be fun for the first couple of minutes. Then watching the poor bastard get pelted with a hockey puck would get boring.
David is offline  
post #9 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 11:59 AM
______________
 
Slow Five-O's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Garland
Posts: 7,457
the golaie wouldn't be able to pass the puck... the goalie wouldn't be able to go to the bench when his team is about to go to a power play...

and as said... there isn't anyone large enough... you lay them on the side.. the body fat is gonna go towards the ground.. there will still be a big opening at the top and it would be MUCH too easy to get the puck in over them... hell, i could get the puck over them and into the net easy enough... i've only played a couple years (back when i played)...

89 Coupe
02 GT
Slow Five-O is offline  
post #10 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 12:01 PM Thread Starter
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Good_Ole_Red
I think maybe because it would make the game boring? People wanna see cool plays, nice saves, and goals.

You stick a 700lbs guy in front of it, the game will only be fun for the first couple of minutes. Then watching the poor bastard get pelted with a hockey puck would get boring.
It's about winning, right? I can understand if there is a set rule against it, enforced to keep the game fair and exciting, but if not, why doesn't a team try it? I don't believe it is because they are more worried about making the game exciting than they are about winning.
jluv is offline  
post #11 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 12:02 PM Thread Starter
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slow Five-O
the golaie wouldn't be able to pass the puck... the goalie wouldn't be able to go to the bench when his team is about to go to a power play...

and as said... there isn't anyone large enough... you lay them on the side.. the body fat is gonna go towards the ground.. there will still be a big opening at the top and it would be MUCH too easy to get the puck in over them... hell, i could get the puck over them and into the net easy enough... i've only played a couple years (back when i played)...
I disagree. How tall is a hockey goal?

And again, who cares if they can pass the puck or get around on the ice? None of that is important when all your team has to do is score one goal to win the game.
jluv is offline  
post #12 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 12:03 PM
______________
 
Slow Five-O's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Garland
Posts: 7,457
you're talking about professional players... even if there was a teenie tiny opening at the top (which i still don't think it is possible)... they could still get it in every time and before the fatty could even blink or move... i've had the pleasure of playing with some of the texas tornado guys (stars minor league team)... and it's unreal how fast and how accuratly they can get it in there...

89 Coupe
02 GT
Slow Five-O is offline  
post #13 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 12:04 PM
Lifer
 
Buick355's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Fort Worth
Posts: 14,251
There are pad size restrictions also. A humongeos fat ass would not be able to be protected well enough.
Buick355 is offline  
post #14 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 12:09 PM
______________
 
Slow Five-O's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Garland
Posts: 7,457
^^


the goals are 6ft wide and 4ft tall

89 Coupe
02 GT
Slow Five-O is offline  
post #15 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 12:17 PM Thread Starter
yes, jluv
 
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 17,073
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buick355
There are pad size restrictions also. A humongeos fat ass would not be able to be protected well enough.

Now that makes sense. Thank you. I figured there must be some kind of limitation set that would screw up the idea.

I still believe there are people big enough to cover the entire goal, or enough to make scoring a miracle. But if they can't get pads on their whole body, that takes away from the space they consume, and of course it would be way too dangerous.
jluv is offline  
post #16 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 01:12 PM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by jluv
Now that makes sense. Thank you. I figured there must be some kind of limitation set that would screw up the idea.

I still believe there are people big enough to cover the entire goal, or enough to make scoring a miracle. But if they can't get pads on their whole body, that takes away from the space they consume, and of course it would be way too dangerous.
Yes that is the reason. The leg pads are limited in both height and width. Also the size of the glove, and ersey is limited. There would be a lot of unprotected fat ass. A lot of the better goalies are ~6 feet tall and 190 lbs. Anticipation, agility, and recover are the 3 most important qualities in a goalie.
RyanB is offline  
post #17 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 04:15 PM
______________
 
Slow Five-O's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Garland
Posts: 7,457
Quote:
Originally Posted by RyanB
~6 feet tall and 190 lbs. Anticipation, agility, and recover are the 3 most important qualities in a goalie.

when i played hockey they loved when iw as goalie... i hated it.. i always wanted to be in the action... i will say i was a decent goalie... but i wasn't doing any scoring in that net!


<--6'4 190

89 Coupe
02 GT
Slow Five-O is offline  
post #18 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 05:19 PM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slow Five-O
when i played hockey they loved when iw as goalie... i hated it.. i always wanted to be in the action... i will say i was a decent goalie... but i wasn't doing any scoring in that net!


<--6'4 190
Were you a traditional butterfly goalie or more of a hybrid? The Patrick Roy's and Jean-Sebastian Giguere's (traditional) are usually a little taller because they drop down earlier to protect the bottom of the net and their height covers more of the top corners. Whereas goalies like Marty Turco and Martin Brodeur play a more hybrid style that encorporates their athleticism and their height isnt really a "key" attribute.
RyanB is offline  
post #19 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 06:55 PM
______________
 
Slow Five-O's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Garland
Posts: 7,457
butterfly isn't traditional! traditional is stand up the whole time (old school!)

but yes, even though i was a lot of legs, i would drop down early...

turco is fun to watch... he can go down do the splits and come back up as fast as you can blink!

ah! i'm ready for hockey to start back up!

89 Coupe
02 GT
Slow Five-O is offline  
post #20 of 20 (permalink) Old 05-12-2005, 07:48 PM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slow Five-O
butterfly isn't traditional! traditional is stand up the whole time (old school!)

but yes, even though i was a lot of legs, i would drop down early...

turco is fun to watch... he can go down do the splits and come back up as fast as you can blink!

ah! i'm ready for hockey to start back up!
Yeah getting lit up for 5 goals a game was "traditional" but I meant the traditional butterfly, as taught by Francois Allaire. Not the Vladislav Tretiak way that Hasek (who later in Buffalo went totally nuts in his style) and Belfour learned.
RyanB is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome