The Master Mechanic Tool Guide - DFWstangs Forums
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post #1 of 1067 (permalink) Old 01-11-2005, 11:03 AM Thread Starter
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The Master Mechanic Tool Guide

brought to you by our friend Korrupt at R1-forum.com

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes in fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the chaos principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire.

WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older British cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your drink across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "Ouch!"

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front fender.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering the car upward off a hydraulic jack.

TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.

PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbor to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.

TROUBLE LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate that 105-mm howitzer shells might be used during, say, the first few hours of the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the lids of old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splash oil on your shirt; can also be used, as the name implies, to round off Phillips screw heads.

AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a coal-burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a Chicago Pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 60 years ago by someone in Springfield, and rounds them off.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.

Edited to add: Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.

Last edited by OneBadWagon; 07-12-2005 at 01:21 AM.
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post #2 of 1067 (permalink) Old 01-11-2005, 11:09 AM
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LOL....good ones.

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post #3 of 1067 (permalink) Old 01-11-2005, 11:10 AM
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post #4 of 1067 (permalink) Old 04-07-2005, 04:10 AM Thread Starter
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back up to the top, because it's friggin funny.

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post #5 of 1067 (permalink) Old 05-20-2005, 12:34 PM
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Ive done a few of those

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post #6 of 1067 (permalink) Old 05-20-2005, 12:40 PM
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LMAO

this needs to go on the back porch Adam.

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post #7 of 1067 (permalink) Old 06-04-2005, 05:31 AM
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Opinions on Jackets

Im trying to decide between these 2 jackets to make into a full suit. The prices are about the same ($40 difference).

FirstGear Speedfreak (im getting the pants to match)


Teknic Violator (again, getting the pants too)





The only thing is the teknic isnt perforated, the FirstGear is. I like the look of the Teknic more, but i think it would be hotter then shit solid. Can jackets be perforated later?

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post #8 of 1067 (permalink) Old 06-04-2005, 07:37 AM
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Fuck the solid jacket!!! Don't know if they can be perforated later or not and if so I'm sure it'll make you wish you had just bought the perforated one because of the additional cost.




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post #9 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 12:24 PM
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anyone go to Rocky ridge?

can you camp there? i would like to spend a whole weekend out there sometime.

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post #10 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 02:08 PM
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Yeah I am not a big fan of the place. Have lots of sharp rocks and not much else. Been to Red River (Muenster)? Yes you can camp.

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post #11 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SNEAKY
can you camp there? i would like to spend a whole weekend out there sometime.
yeah you can camp there, i like the place imo, its been my favorite place to ride ever since they closed down "flyin P" in weatherford
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post #12 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 02:26 PM
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I'm going to red river in 3 weeks. I have never been is it worth the 2 hour drive.
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post #13 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 02:27 PM
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I'm going to red river in 3 weeks. I have never been is it worth the 2 hour drive.
its tons of fun on 4-wheelers, all the quicksand gives dirt bikes a hard time, but its a good place to go and check out
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post #14 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 03:04 PM
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Yeah I am not a big fan of the place. Have lots of sharp rocks and not much else. Been to Red River (Muenster)? Yes you can camp.
i have never been, i thought it was supposed to be good.

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post #15 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-01-2005, 05:06 PM
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Rocky Ridge lives up to its name (lots of rocks). But it has alot of good trails, (used to race CC out there) lots of good camping spots, and a nice size lake to cool off and fish in. Red River is nice but make sure you clean your gear good afterwards because that water has high salt content and will rust your stuff bad. Watch the quicksand my brother go in it and took 5 of us to get the bike out.

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post #16 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 10:30 AM
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Idiots on cell phones!

This didn't happen to me. I am reposting this from another forum. Read the whole thing. It's gets really good towards the end.


Hey that's not just in the city anymore.
I had a interesting experience about week ago on the vfr with a cell phone
abuser.

I live in this little borough. It is small enough that there are no stop lines before the crosswalks at the traffic lights. so I pull up at this one light, I'm in the left side of the left turn lane which is pretty much the middle of the street. My front tire is completely behind the painted line of the crosswalk. My right hand is lightly on the
brake as well as my right foot is holding the bike in the rear. In the right lane next to me is silver grey Ford Crown Vic with municipal plates. I did not bother to register who or what might be driving.

As I'm waiting for the light to cycle, this woman dressed in a expensive business suit steps off the curb on my right side. She is talking on her cell phone, with it held up to her left ear. She looks to her right (away from all the traffic she just stepped in front of) and rapidly starts to cross the street. And she is loud I can hear her talking to her assistant about filing some forms for some settlement.
I tuned her out and looked back up at the left turn only traffic light. All of a sudden, bang the VFR lurches to my left pulling the bars out of my hands and this lady smacks her face on street! The cell phone bounces about twice and breaks into several pieces and I heard her sunglasses crunch on the concrete. She shrieks like a banshee and jumps up only to stumble on her shoes broken heel. Her knees are bloody, as is her left hand along the outside edge and her nose looks pretty badly scraped.

She screams at me "what the F*&k do you think you are doing. I'll have you arrested for Assault. Somebody call 911, this idiot just tried to run me over!"
I notice that She still has the grip of her briefcase in her right hand (but only the grip) and her knuckles are bleeding as well. I also scan the intersection and see a couple of people on the sidewalk now dialing their cell phones.

With my left hand I reach in and cut the key, putting it in my pocket. I turn and look back to make sure that the guy behind me sees that I'm not going anywhere. The guy driving is pounding on the steering wheel laughing histerically. She steps right up to the side of my motorcycle and starts screaming at me "Get the F... off that thing, you Son of a B!tch, Get off that F..king bike NOW! or so help me I'll kill you M...F". But even if I wanted to, I could not get off the bike at that instant because she is so close I would have to knock her down to swing my leg off.

At that moment the silver crown blasts across the street and screeches to a stop. The door opens and this guy in grey slacks and a sport coat gets out. He jogs back across the intersection and pulls the woman back about six feet, getting his body between us. He turns to me and says, "I saw you pull the key, don't move," as he starts to force the woman to walk back over to the curb. I hear the sirens that our cops use to clear intersections, and see the flashing lights in the rearview. He's trying to get her to sit down on bus stop bench, but she just keeps trying to jump up and I guess take a run at me. I put my gloved hands on the tank, still trying to comprehend what is happening.

The cop pulls up behind the guy behind me, and motions that he should go around. When the guy does (still laughing) the cop pulls forward some before he stops and gets out. He's halfway to me, when the woman starts screaming "He hit me with that f....ing motorcycle, deliberately...." then starts sobbing again. "don't move a muscle," the cop tells me and goes over to check her out. He's talking on the radio the whole way over. I see him start talking to the gent that got out of the grey car, they seem to know each other.

About then a second unit shows up. The second cop walks up on my left and bellows,"why are you still wearing that helmet, Take it off. and get off the bike."
"Wait," yells over the guy in grey. The second cop holds up his hand and bellows, "don't move". The guy in grey walks back over to me. "Straighten that front tire" the guy in grey says, and the second uniform backs up a couple of steps.
I pull the VFR bars back to straight and look at the grey suit. He stands over the front tire and looks down a the cross walk paint for a minute. "Okay, put the kickstand down, get your helmet and gloves off and the officer will need your license and insurance." he says as he starts to walk back to the curb.
I shuck the gloves and helmet, put the stand down carefully and start to pull out my wallet.

The cop standing next to me yells over, "what am I charging him with?"
"Nothing, we just need his info for the report and then he can go," says the grey suit.

The woman screams "What, You can't do that, I don't know who you think you are, but I know the mayor and the chief of police, they won't let that manic get away with this!"

The dude in the grey suit says, "I don't know who you think you are lady, but I am the police chief, and I saw you walk into his front wheel because you were too busy on your cell phone. He was not in the cross walk nor was he moving when you fell over his front wheel". At which point she just totally lost it and started bawling like the end of the world was coming.

Needless to say in another twenty minutes I was told I was free to go and given a copy of the incident report form in case I needed to report an damage claim with my insurance company.
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post #17 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 11:15 AM
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LMFAO
I cant believe I read all that, but damn what a fucking cunt!
Good thing that police chief was there!


When ever I see people driving on cell phones I get in front of them with the truck, and smoke them the fuck out....
It usually gets their attention, and they at least give me breathing room and stay away....

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Last edited by PooterWS6; 07-02-2005 at 11:22 AM.
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post #18 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 11:17 AM
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What a DUMB BITCH!!!! That is funny shit...

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post #19 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 11:30 AM
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hahhaha, great ending.

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post #20 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 11:49 AM
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What a dumb bitch!
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post #21 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 12:05 PM
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Great story! Love them even more when they have a happy ending




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post #22 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 02:43 PM
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both them place are 15 min from me. Have a 4wheeler but I dont go.

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post #23 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-02-2005, 07:01 PM
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lmfao, dumb bitches and their cell phones

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post #24 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 11:27 AM
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Makes it very discouraging to get out and ride....

Bought the Duc a little over a month ago. It had a plug in the rear tire. Those kinda scare me a little. Not that I ride extremely hard on the street or anything. But, the simple fact that there is a hole in the tire, and it could possibly leak at any moment and leave me and my bike stranded. In a car it's no big deal, you can just put on the spare tire.
So, the first thing I did when I bought the Duc was replace the tires.
Rode it around for about 1000 miles, and guess what. Yep, brand new tire with a nail in it. Not just a nail, but about a 3 inch long nail. Replace rear tire with another brand new one.
Last night I found yet another nail in my rear tire!
So, in the course of just over a month, I have gone through 3 rear tires!

Makes me just want to park it for a while. Can't afford to keep replacing tires every 2 weeks or so.

Sorry, just had to vent.
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post #25 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 11:36 AM
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don't ride over any more nails


/ducks flying objects thrown in my direction
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post #26 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 11:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by n737nc
Bought the Duc a little over a month ago. It had a plug in the rear tire. Those kinda scare me a little. Not that I ride extremely hard on the street or anything. But, the simple fact that there is a hole in the tire, and it could possibly leak at any moment and leave me and my bike stranded. In a car it's no big deal, you can just put on the spare tire.
So, the first thing I did when I bought the Duc was replace the tires.
Rode it around for about 1000 miles, and guess what. Yep, brand new tire with a nail in it. Not just a nail, but about a 3 inch long nail. Replace rear tire with another brand new one.
Last night I found yet another nail in my rear tire!
So, in the course of just over a month, I have gone through 3 rear tires!

Makes me just want to park it for a while. Can't afford to keep replacing tires every 2 weeks or so.

Sorry, just had to vent.

Yeah, that does suck. I weent thru 2 sets of tires in 1 week because of that before. I don't use plugs unless its an absolute must.

Oh yeah, if you want to let me ride the Duc for a little while so it doesn't collect dust, i'm game
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post #27 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 11:45 AM
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just buy some new tires that way you dont have to worry....btw i had a plug on my gsxr and took it up to pretty high speeds once and had no probs

2004 pontiac gtslow
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post #28 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 11:56 AM
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Ask Adam how he feels about that. I was supposed to meet him up at CompUSA to look at computer stuff and he got a flat in the rear tire and barely made it to the parking lot. We took it to get plugged at Yamaha ($70ish). Then a few days later he got another nail in his tire and had to replace it. Sucks to spend $70 on a plug just to get another flat soon after

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post #29 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 12:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slow5.0
i had a plug on my gsxr and took it up to pretty high speeds once and had no probs
Once....

Sucks Nick. I had the same sorta thing on my first R6 right after I started riding. Got a nail and plugged it. Got another nail and bought a race takeoff. Nail on that one and bought a new Metzeler and never had a problem on it even now with the current owner.




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post #30 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 01:12 PM
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good read. thanks for posting that...
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post #31 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:07 PM
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My day at Oak Hill

Well I am back in one piece. I got there at about 10:30 and nobody was there but the gate was unlocked. Went in and kinda hung out for awhile. Another guy pulled up and told me the owner would be there in a sec and we were good to go. Got signed in and headed on the track.

First few laps I just cruised around trying to memorize the track and figure out what gears to hit what in. First thing I said to myself was this is gonna be a long day cause this track is friggin technical like a mofo. The more laps I made the faster I got. I was running high 1:48-1:50 range on my on board timer thingy. I decided it was time to turn it up a notch since I had the track memorized for the most part. Running corners deeper, going through them faster, coming off harder. I was down to the 1:42-1:44 range. Last session of the day I get someone to time me on a stop watch for real #s. I was running low 1:40s then my buddy passed me and I turned it up a notch to keep up with him and clicked off my best recorded lap of a 1:39. The record on that track is a 1:22 i believe. My buddy was ran a 1:28. I dont think its his best but its haulin azz for a fact.

Anyways that track is a blast. That down hill right hander is a friggin rush. I will be back soon to get a new best time!
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post #32 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:18 PM
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Same kinda thing kept happening to me. So I bought some race take offs pretty cheap. I figure I'll wear those out before they get a nail, and hell, if they do get a nail, I'm out $50 a tire instead of $130 or so.
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post #33 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:44 PM
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Good Job!
Yes, that track is very technical. You can pass a lot of peole in that downhill right hander you mentioned. All you need is balls there
1:39 is pretty good on that track. The track record is right at 1:22. Did you see the list on the wall of all the different track records? Hand written by the person that set it. There Collin Edwards, Nicky Handen, Ben Spies....
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post #34 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by n737nc
Good Job!
Yes, that track is very technical. You can pass a lot of peole in that downhill right hander you mentioned. All you need is balls there
1:39 is pretty good on that track. The track record is right at 1:22. Did you see the list on the wall of all the different track records? Hand written by the person that set it. There Collin Edwards, Nicky Handen, Ben Spies....
Yeah I saw that. Thought that was pretty sweet. Some fast names on there.

I think I need to re-gear. The down hill right when I hit it fast i would tap the rev-limiter just a tad. I'm thinking 3 up in the back? What would you suggest?
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post #35 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:50 PM
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Well sounds good. Glad you had fun, and no get offs. Did you see my name on the list?
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post #36 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cbrjames
Well sounds good. Glad you had fun, and no get offs. Did you see my name on the list?

Yep! Jackass is on there!
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post #37 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:52 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cbrjames
Well sounds good. Glad you had fun, and no get offs. Did you see my name on the list?
I prolly did but I didn't even think to put that name with you. What was your time and on what date?
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post #38 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:53 PM
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Originally Posted by tamestang
Yeah I saw that. Thought that was pretty sweet. Some fast names on there.

I think I need to re-gear. The down hill right when I hit it fast i would tap the rev-limiter just a tad. I'm thinking 3 up in the back? What would you suggest?


Not sure about the gearing for your bike. If you were bouncing off the rev limiter, why didn't you try getting through it in a higher gear? Not trying to be a smart ass. Just a question...
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post #39 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:54 PM
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I prolly did but I didn't even think to put that name with you. What was your time and on what date?


Don't even let him fool you tamestang. Talk about a poser!
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post #40 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:56 PM
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Not sure about the gearing for your bike. If you were bouncing off the rev limiter, why didn't you try getting through it in a higher gear? Not trying to be a smart ass. Just a question...
It was just barely and only when I had a good run off the turn before. On the other straights I would have to short shift to 3rd cause if I held second out it would hit the revlimiter. So basically at a few sections of the track I would have to shift at the very end of the straight away to keep from hitting the limiter so I would shift early to keep from downshifting right after I had up shifted. Does that make sense?
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post #41 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 05:58 PM
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Don't even let him fool you tamestang. Talk about a poser!
LMAO ok.
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post #42 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:06 PM
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Lmao, shuddup Nick! I had to try to wake this forum back up! But yeah, its up there, right below the "old man".
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post #43 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:08 PM
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Lmao, shuddup Nick! I had to try to wake this forum back up! But yeah, its up there, right below the "old man".
Who is the "old man?"
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post #44 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:09 PM
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Who is the "old man?"
Captain smack talker!
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post #45 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:10 PM
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Oh on my faster laps I'm not sure if this is normal or what but I would hit a little bump at full lean while my knee was skimming the ground and i scraped the side of my boot and I think i drug a little peg. Havn't looked to see yet but there is a little mark on my boot on my toe slider.
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post #46 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:13 PM
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Captain smack talker!
Nick is on the list? What time and date was his?
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post #47 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:13 PM
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Oh on my faster laps I'm not sure if this is normal or what but I would hit a little bump at full lean while my knee was skimming the ground and i scraped the side of my boot and I think i drug a little peg. Havn't looked to see yet but there is a little mark on my boot on my toe slider.
Yes, that is normal. Now if you had aftermarket rearsets, you probably wouldn't have scraped the peg.
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post #48 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:14 PM
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Nick is on the list? What time and date was his?
Dude! Its a joke!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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post #49 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:18 PM
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Yes, that is normal. Now if you had aftermarket rearsets, you probably wouldn't have scraped the peg.
The ones on the zx6s are high for stock. That is why they are kinda uncomfortable to ride for a long time. Im gonna go look and see if I did or not real fast. brb.
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post #50 of 1067 (permalink) Old 07-03-2005, 06:21 PM
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Nevermind no peg grindage.
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