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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 09:18 PM Thread Starter
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I agree with this...

Dear Texas, Please Secede
Our Last Best Hope
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Top Update: Health Care has passed. This love note to Dear Texas is now more prescient than ever. Please pass it on to everyone you know who is intelligent. And can see the reason in the humor.

Dear Texas,

I don't know much about you. I don't live there.

I know it takes about two days to drive through your vast tracts of land in an aging Mazda RX-7. That drive really sucks. Even when listening to Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" on tape.

I know that most of your nasty collectivist hippies have been confined to Austin, like cells of tuberculosis encrusted in calcium. They are harmless and if the chips were down, you could drive them out to live in some refugee camp on the Louisiana border. They could live there for decades, like the Palestinians in the Middle East, only they would be singing bad college rock. And smell worse.

Your state is mostly flat. You have problems on the border. Most of your air smells like cow dung or dust, and Houston has terrific traffic problems.

You also have bad food. Seriously. It's bad. Don't tell me about your barbeque and authentic Mexican crap, because I'm from New Orleans. «a va?

Also you have Ross Perot, and he's batsh-t crazy. Also you have Kay Bailey Hutchinson, a fifth-columnist collectivist if ever there was a Vichy in France.

Also you have a former president there who teed up the United States of America for its final destruction with TARP I: A Fake New Hope. So you'll have to transfer him out of there to preserve your future freedom, otherwise he'll be trying to get good real estate deals, the rotten...

Wait, I don't want to get ahead of myself.

Dear Texas, despite all of your shortcomings, I am here to inform you:

You are the last best hope of mankind.

The collectivists now have the votes in the Senate to pass the Health Care Enslavement Act. Everything else is procedure. Therefore I must recognize that now, to my utter horror...

I no longer live in a free country.

I will be forced by the power of the State to pay for a stranger's MRI. I will be forced to beg the government for permission to get a heart transplant.

I am a slave. The government now has complete power over everything that constitutes my humanity, for if they control my health and body, they control me.

I've had to put up with the petty 'crats in my various entrepreneurial endeavors. I have lost countless hours filling out sales tax forms and regulation forms. I've spent hours at the DMV. At the local Fascist Building Code Authority. I saw my home town of New Orleans destroyed by collectivists at the Army Corps of Engineers, the City Council of New Orleans, the Mayor's Office, various Levee Boards, the Governor's Office, and hundreds if not thousands of Louisana State representatives sucking off the government teat for the better part of a century.

These obscene lilliputian vultures!

They have stolen countless hours of my life already through taxes and regulations. These vampires that produce nothing and consume all. Who destroy art and freedom and culture and happiness. These monsters of vulgarity who wish to control and regulate and want you to thank them for it. Yes, I have lost much to these evil creatures and to my shame I have put up with it, voting against them time and again. Voting for people and donating to people I thought loved liberty, only to discover the nasty little jack-in-the-box monster that pops up like a horror zombie, who sneaks in ear marks to increase the value of real-estate they "happen" to own.

How many corrupt fifth columnists voting for bill after obscene liberty-killing bill must I endure before I wake from this nightmare?

Denny Hastert, Tom Delay, Newt Gingrich, I am looking your way when I say that last bit about corrupt fifth columnists. You f-cks. Dance With the Stars and die.

But this is the last straw.

I will not put up with them in charge of my health, my children's health, or my parent's health.

Never. Do you hear me?

I refuse.

I refuse to live under this tyranny.

If I must choose to live as a slave or go to prison, then I choose prison. Better a prisoner than a slave. Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, President Obamahole: arrest me now. Never a red cent shall I pay. Get it over with and come get me now. I won't pay your fines. I won't fill out your paperwork. I will die first.

I refuse even under threat of death to conform to your Health Enslavement Act.

Do you understand?

This is not a democracy. This is a constitutional republic, and I do not care about your majority vote. My liberty is more important. Do you understand?

It appears then that, since collectivists now control the United States and wish to enslave me and my family, I must consider other options. Shall I move? To where? Name a country that is not collectivist in one form or another, or under threat of imminent domination. Europe is under the crushing velvet glove of socialism, Russia is a madhouse, all else froth and insanity, corruption and tyranny.

I want my United States, but it is no longer the United States. It is gone and has been since at least the 1950's, as Rome was no longer Rome after the madness of the twelve Caesars, but still trundled on under momentum and past glories.

The radio hosts upon which I based my last film, Hive Mind, are for the most part believers in the vote. They do not believe in taking up arms against our nation and are extremely reluctant to even consider such with their audiences. For one thing, they could get yanked off the air. For another, they have a love for country that is as admirable, and stubborn, as what those British subjects felt for king and country in 1771 Colonial America.

They revolted over a dinky tea tax, for Chr-ssake. Now look at us. You think George Washington would've sighed, shaken his head, and trundled down to the Tax-Stamp office to buy health insurance mandated by the British Crown 'cause it was the law?

Frankly, I must confess that I'm not enthused by the image of villagers storming the White House with pitchforks and torches, or waging guerilla warfare against the combined might of the ATF, the FBI, and the Coast Guard.

I am a realist, which means I am a pessimist, and unfortunately I must say with great pessimism that the country our radio hosts love is no longer the United States of America. It is beyond salvation.

Now listen, I will certainly continue to fight through political channels. I will continue to call my Congressmen and Senators, and go to rallies and rail against the machine. But I know deep down, and I believe everyone else here does too, that with such power over the vast machinery of the United States in the hands of these ruthless collectivists, there will be no turning back the tide even should Republicans and Libertarians and Conservatives sweep the House and Senate in every election in 2010.

Which brings me to the most important thing I know about Texas.

Dear big beautiful Texas with all your gorgeous pageant women and crappy food: you are the only state that joined our Union with a treaty allowing for legal secession.

Here's the "long story short," your favorite phrase, Dear Texas:

You can get out now and no one will stop you.

Look, I'm just a crazy filmmaker who writes a blog to boost sales for my movies. But before that I worked for the defense community and hung out in certain circles, so you meet people, you learn a few secrets. Here's a few that most beltway journalists know also, but are too chickensh-t to tell you, because if too many little people heard it, they'd rise up and kill all their buddies and benefactors in the government. And that would just totally kill the cocktail party circuit.

Here's the first secret they know.

Obama doesn't care about preserving the Union. He is the anti-Lincoln. He would be perfectly happy to see all the "Red States" go. They are pesky. They vote against collectivists. Red Staters own guns. They're dangerous. I know I am.

Obama's buddies in the Weather Undergound were even overheard by the FBI in the 1960's trying to figure out how to get rid of all you liberty-loving gun-toting whack jobs. They estimated they'd have to kill 25 million in total. Which gave them pause. Not because the number was too big for their morality; it just seemed like a big job, and collectivists are lazy.

Yet their lust for a collectivist country has brought them to the White House decades later, and, rather than be forced to kill all those that disagree with collectivism, they'll be happier jettisoning a state or two and let all the whack jobs who love liberty flee there.

Don't get me wrong, Obama's Weather Underground buddies would cheerily kill every last Red Stater if they had to. Look at Jeremiah Wright. You don't think he wants you dead? Please, girlfriend. Please.

But if it can be avoided, they'd prefer you secede. Less money spent on bullets and mass graves and more money for them to live like the Politburo elite in the good old days, with fancy toilet paper.

Dear Texas, Obama-collectivist wants you to leave. You are a guest who has overstayed your welcome in the Union. You just don't know that the liberty party is over yet.

Remember when Castro wanted to ship all his troublemakers out during the Muriel boatlift? Bingo.

Dear Texas, put aside fears of "Civil War II: The Revenge of the North." Not going to happen.

Consider that a large percentage of the U.S. Military is from Texas. Obama would dare not send his "Blue State" armed forces into your borders. He would invite a military coup if he even thought about it. And besides, without Red State soldiers, the U.S. Military will be too busy blow drying its hair, putting on makeup while driving, and fiddling around in its purse trying to find that Tomahawk cruise missile next to its tampon.

Seriously, don't worry about a hot civil war. Remember that Truman (collectivist like Obama) was too much of a pussy to take care of the Soviet Union back when we were the only ones with the nuke. At worst, Obama will wage a cold war with you and maybe embargo your arugala supply. And really, I know you couldn't give a sh-t about that.

Dear Texas, do you want to know what Obama will say? Have fun. Good luck. Sign a Global Warming Treaty with us? Buy our stuff with your Texas dollars? Here, take a bunch of these other pesky liberty-loving gun owners from Wyoming, Montana, Arizona, Louisiana, Georgia, Mississippi, etc. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. But hey, sell us your oil until our solar panels are working.

Be careful not to lend him money. He'll ask.

Obama and his ilk don't believe that the United States should be the lone super power of the world. They really couldn't care less if you are in the Union or not. They just want collectivism and all the corruption money they can eat.

Now Dear Texas, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying it won't be easy. Let me let you in on another secret I've learned in my old-school circles.

China's been giving Mexico's military arms and training for the better part of two decades. Many Chinese "companies" (which are really owned by the People's Liberation Army) run most of the major Mexican ports. They have been pre-deploying small arms, hand-held missiles, and other nasty pieces of work in warehouses down there, all for a rainy day like this.

They would love to see Mexico try to take back Texas. During the confusion they'll be all over Taiwan like a drunk teenager on a 5 dollar whore. The Chinese and Mexicans have been slipping money to the Democrats (algore, Billary Clinton, Obamahole, etc.) and Republicans (John MyFriends McCain, Bob Viagra Dole, Denny Earmark Hastert, George Bushes Part I: The Lethargic Projectile Vomiter and Part II: The Expensive Mindless Sequel) for decades for a reason.

Come on. You think China was giving money to Bill Clinton cause he looks good with Monica Lewinsky in his lap? 'Cause they wanted to sell us plastic Mardi Gras beads? They want Taiwan and then they want to pay back Japan for the rape of Nanking. And hey, if algore gets some bucks out of it, well, that's a cheap price 'cause algore's a cheap whore.

So bear in mind, Dear Texas, that when you declare independence, Mexico will try to take you back. And Obamahole will not lift a finger for you in that instance. You will be alone.

It will be a nasty and ugly guerilla war.

I know you don't care about that, because you love liberty, Dear Texas.

Plus, you have the hottest pageant women on planet earth, better even than Brazil, so you know you can't lose.

You will indeed be "like a whole other country."

I volunteer.

I remember the Alamo.

Save a seat for me in liberty's sweet embrace, 'cause I'm on my way.

God Bless The United State of Texas.

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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 09:48 PM
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Lot of good thinking to be done on that article. He can shove most of that first portion up his ass but...

Has me wondering what it would be like to have to show a passport to go into Arkansas. As for fighting Mexico? Not likely as gun control there is strict as hell.

And would they give us up without a fight? I can see his points on why they would, but at the same time know what kind of greed rules them and don't see how they could let our money go.

What do you smart fuckers think?
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 09:55 PM
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Cliff's Notes? Damn that's long, and after his pissing on our state in the first couple of paragraph's, I'm thinking, "Piss on you, you yankee bastard! Turn your POS Mazda around, and 'beat feet', cock-bite!"

Besides, all you pendejo's were laughing at one of my "cecede" posts'...

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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 09:57 PM Thread Starter
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Get past the "Fuck your food" thing and you'll see he has some interesting points
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 09:59 PM
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He shits on Texas, then asks for our resistance?

I think the domino effect would be huge. Obama would have no choice but to attempt to crush the resistance which would make him look even worse. If it was successful, he would look like a bigger pussy than he already does for letting it happen.

We'd have to 'occupy' other states.

1/19/09, the last day of Free America.
Pericles "Freedom is the sure possession of those alone who have the courage to defend it. "

"[T]he people alone have an incontestable, unalienable, and indefeasible right to institute government and to reform, alter, or totally change the same when their protection, safety, prosperity, and happiness require it." --Samuel Adams

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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 10:05 PM
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Originally Posted by Sean88gt View Post
He shits on Texas, then asks for our resistance?

I think the domino effect would be huge. Obama would have no choice but to attempt to crush the resistance which would make him look even worse. If it was successful, he would look like a bigger pussy than he already does for letting it happen.

We'd have to 'occupy' other states.
That's kind of my interpretation. He runs to us when he's in trouble? Fuck all that...the yankee's did us the same in the '70's. Talk all that BS from some nothern shit-hole, then run here looking for work when they started starving to death. I'd rather starve in Texas than be rich in Detroit.

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 10:11 PM
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He's from Louisiana, which would normally mean he's half retarded. He has good points though. Western Louisiana is just a euphemism for "deep east Texas", and east of that, it's coon asses, ninjas & crooks. That's not exactly a feather in your hat, any way you slice it.

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 12-28-2009, 11:04 PM
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I would fight if we broke away. Maybe its that I am young and stupid, but ill be damned if I am going to let some unqualified fuck head ruin what was built on my ancestors backs.

He already crushed my dreams of pursuing a medical career. I feel as if the last few years of my life have been wasted and I dont have much left to lose from a career/academic standpoint. I would take up arms instantly... no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
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