So fucking retarded! I tried loading the IPCC carrier file without going to 3.1 cause I was jailbroken and that didnt work. My itunes wouldnt let me choose carrier files through shift+update so I loaded the 8.2 beta itunes everyone reported worked and it wanted to restore my phone.
Long story short, I just said screw it and updated to 3.1 and got the carrier file normally. It takes FOREVER to send a pic and forever to get it and that if it will even go through. I have sent three pics to my wife and had to retry on all of them because they failed and she finally got one of the three.
Total crap but I hear Apple is pretty pissed at ATT and this is their last straw to get it right. We will see, either way, my cell phone from 2002 sent MMS pics quicker than this.