On the lighter side of things... - DFWstangs Forums
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-07-2002, 01:59 PM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Sep 2002
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Posts: 5,109
Talking On the lighter side of things...

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Jewish Chicken: Vaat? The pig crosses the road and
no one notices. But I cross the road and now it's a
Federal case already?!

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they
are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.

Louis Farrakhan: The road, you will see, represents
the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man"
in order to trample him and keep him down.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having their motives
called into question.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

THE BIBLE: And God came down from the heavens, and He said
unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken
crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.

Saint Thomas Aquinas: It was a thing of beauty done with
integrity, harmony and brilliance.

Saint Augustine: It reflects the presence of the divine reason.

John Calvin: So God can reveal his goodness, glory, wisdom,
power and justice.

Aleister Crowley: Because it was its True Will to do so.

Jonathan Edwards: It is foredained by God's prescience
and omniscience.

Martin Luther: It is a matter of faith not reason.

Mary Baker Eddy Patterson: To cure itself.

The Pope: That is only for God to know.

Pope John Paul: Crossing the road is a sin that risks
eternal damnation.

Oral Roberts: (1)He couldn't raise the $10,000,000.00 so
God called him home. (2)And I said to the chicken: "Put your
claw on the screen! Put your claw on the screen, upon the hand
of Brother Oral, and you shall be healed. Make a love offering of
$50 or more, and then touch the screen. And that chicken did put his
claw on the screen. And the power of God, in his infinite wisdom
and mercy, flowed through me and out through that television set,
and that chicken was healed *PRAISE GOD!*. And then that chicken,
stricken for so many months, rose up and walked across the road.
But, since he had forgotten his love offering, God never warned
him about the 30 ton semi barreling down on the crosswalk...."

Pat Robinson: To escape the asteroid on Gay Day.

Mother Teresa: I see God in every chicken. When I watch the chicken
cross, I feel I am watching the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful

Dr. Jack Van Impe: Well you see, here's the really exciting part,
if we were to look at Revelation 17:3 we will see that the Whore
of Babylon rides on a scarlet beast. A scarlet beast! What this
means is a Rhode Island Red. And the truly glorious thing is that
this beast, this Rhode Island Red, this chicken has crossed the
road exactly as was prophesized in the Bible and this is all a sign,
Revelation 17:3, that we're living in the End Time. Hallelujah! And
if you would like more information on the significance of this chicken
crossing the road as all part of God's great plan then send me $50
and you will recieve this set of video tapes along with a copy of
my recent book "Chickens: fowl beast, or foul beast?".

No other posters were flamed, ridiculed, persecuted, belittled, berated, judged or otherwise in the making of the above-posted reply. It is with respect all are asked to observe this and to provide the same courtesy bestowed upon those who have posted and those who will post. Yada, Yada, doublespeak and so forth!
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-07-2002, 04:36 PM
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 505
that is funny, and gets much funnier at the end!

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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-07-2002, 04:46 PM
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Location: With Weapons of Mass Instruction
Posts: 3,135
lol, these were funny

Stand by or fight while Obama wages his war against capitalism...
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 11-08-2002, 02:54 PM
You lookin' at mah EYE?!
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Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 8,316
Good stuff!

Graphic Design / Photography / Web Design
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