thats the problem, I love her. Without her im down. Plus i hate being single, i want someone to hold,smell that sweet perfume, see that pretty smile and watch all the cute things she does. Brittney did that to me
This is convo between me and Jessica
***: Well I think you're being too harsh.
***: And I think you're worrying about something you can't change.
***: I understand and realize it's hard to get over someone you love because you'll always always always always love them.
***: Regardless of what happened between you two, you have to forgive her, in order to heal yourself.
***: THere is no reason for you to re analyze the e-mail.
***: You need to stop worrying about it.
***: And if you don't believe her that that was just her friend now, you never will.
***: Therefore there will be a lack of trust in any relationship you try to re-establish with her.
***: And you hurt her.
me: but she lied!
***: I don't know what you said to her.
***: But you did.
***: Kyle, I understand she lied. But you can't hold that against her forever. It's not right.
***: And if you can't forgive her, then you don't deserve her.
me: im not holding it against, her i want to rebuild but she doesnt
***: You have to think about her too
***: Not just yourself.
***: She understands that you hurt.
***: Now understand that she hurts just as much as you do.
***: not any more not any less.
me: jessica i loved her wit hall i have and i wish to have her back but i guess its not meant to be
me: like the ole saying goes "They say if you love somebody you gotta set them free, and if they dont come back again then its meant to be"
***: I'm sure the same love was reciprocated by her, but you hurt her deep also.
***: You may not have lied, but you must have said some harsh things to her.
***: and you should apologize for that.
me: i was actually the calm one during the storm
***: Stop using I
***: think about her Kyle.
me: i am
me: but im stating she is the one who went off
***: Evidently she had a reason to.
***: didn't you go off on her.
me: i kept calm through the storm
***: It doesn't matter.
***: If I were her i'd be mad too
***: and hurt.
me: at first yea i was mad and i said few choice words and i did apologize
me: but nothing changes what she did to [email protected]
***: what about what you did to her.
me: i just reacted like any othe guy would when they see the email, i got curious and started asking questions and when i never got answers from her i got angry but i calmed down
***: i'm not askign about you.
***: I hate to say this.
***: and it's probably going to piss you off
***: But you're being selfish in the whole ordeal.
***: You are just thinking about your emotions and your pains.
me: yea irealize i hurt her
***: It doesn't seem like you are considering her at all.
me: but think of what she did to me
me: 10 mos jessica 10 mos thats almost a yr!
me: she broke my heart horribly!
***: you broke hers too.l
***: you're not the only victim kyle
me: i know jessica
***: stop thinking you are.
me: i want her back so bad i cant even see straight but i dont know what to do, and i know there is no way for us to get back together due to this because trust will never be there
***: You know the problem.
***: if there is a way.
***: try to fix it.
***: but you have to stop thinking about yourself and about her too
me: ive tried
me: and you saw it in the convo but there is no room for amends
***: What do you expect?
***: Her wound is still open
***: you need to give her time to heal
me: im the one who got killed!
***: Forget it.
***: You're going to think you're the only victim.
***: Until you realize you weren't.
***: you don't deserve her.
me: then i dont deserve anyone else then so why even bother?
***: I didn't say that.
***: You just don't deserve her.
***: And she's right. You ended it.
***: So maybe you deserve this pain
***: and if you truly did say 'i didn't lose anything.'
***: then that's even worse.
me: no she told me i lost the best thing i ever had
me: when she is the one who lied to me
***: stop it kyle.
***: she lied to you
***: it happens.
***: You're a big boy.
***: You need to stop acting immature
***: and forgive her.
***: and realiz ethere is so much more to it.
***: why did she lie to you
***: did you ever think about that?
me: ive asked her and she wouldnt tell me
painted_dreamer03: Maybe she thinks you don't deserve an answer.
***: If you're gong to try and make her feel guilty and say rude things to her.
***: why should she even talk to you?
me: well from a females point of view what should i do?
***: Stop being selfish, think about HER feelings, what YOU did to her, reasons why she might have lied, stop thinking 'oooh i'm the victim boo hoo.'
***: Because that attitude has to go
***: you should forgive her.
***: You'll never solve anything.
***: so you can heal.
***: and so she can heal
***: I guaruntee she'll never be better if you don't forgive her.
me: but what about rebuilding? she lied once, but what about again?
***: At this point, don't look towards a relationship.
***: And trying to overcome it.
***: Just focus on both of you getting over it.
me: well,whats to come after that?
***: you don't always know what the outcome will be.
***: you have to be patient
***: You'll have to wait and just find out
***: Suck it up. You can handle it
me: but jessica i want her back but i think i have burnt the bridge with her and her mom, and i think my parents dont want me to go back to her fearing another heartbreak