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Masturbation

3K views 45 replies 21 participants last post by  89gt-stanger 
#1 ·
People at school were talking about religion at school, and someone, forsome weird ass reason, brought up masturbation. Does it say anyhting aobut this in the bible?
 
#5 ·
There are two kinds of people in this world son, those that jerk off and those that lie about it.
 
#12 ·
This is the only reference I know of...

<< Leviticus 15 >>
New American Standard Bible ©


Cleansing Unhealthiness

1 The LORD also spoke to Moses and to Aaron, saying, 2 “Speak to the sons of Israel, and say to them, ‘When any man has a discharge from his body, his discharge is unclean. 3 ‘This, moreover, shall be his uncleanness in his discharge: it is his uncleanness whether his body allows its discharge to flow or whether his body obstructs its discharge. 4 ‘Every bed on which the person with the discharge lies becomes unclean, and everything on which he sits becomes unclean. 5 ‘Anyone, moreover, who touches his bed shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening; 6 and whoever sits on the thing on which the man with the discharge has been sitting, shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 7 ‘Also whoever touches the person with the discharge shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 8 ‘Or if the man with the discharge spits on one who is clean, he too shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 9 ‘Every saddle on which the person with the discharge rides becomes unclean. 10 ‘Whoever then touches any of the things which were under him shall be unclean until evening, and he who carries them shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 11 ‘Likewise, whomever the one with the discharge touches without having rinsed his hands in water shall wash his clothes and bathe in water and be unclean until evening. 12 ‘However, an earthenware vessel which the person with the discharge touches shall be broken, and every wooden vessel shall be rinsed in water.
13 ‘Now when the man with the discharge becomes cleansed from his discharge, then he shall count off for himself seven days for his cleansing; he shall then wash his clothes and bathe his body in running water and will become clean. 14 ‘Then on the eighth day he shall take for himself two turtledoves or two young pigeons, and come before the LORD to the doorway of the tent of meeting and give them to the priest; 15 and the priest shall offer them, one for a sin offering and the other for a burnt offering. So the priest shall make atonement on his behalf before the LORD because of his discharge.
16 ‘Now if a man has a seminal emission, he shall bathe all his body in water and be unclean until evening. 17 ‘As for any garment or any leather on which there is seminal emission, it shall be washed with water and be unclean until evening. 18 ‘If a man lies with a woman so that there is a seminal emission, they shall both bathe in water and be unclean until evening.
 
#18 ·
According to the SNL character Father Guido Sarducchi, the sin of maturbation is minor, and would be assessed a fine of about .25 cents when you get your "bill" to get into heaven. He just hoped that he did not come up .25 cents short when it was his time to "pay the bill." :fingersx:
 
#36 ·
As a Christian I view it this way. If God didn't want me jerking off, He'd have given me shorter arms.
 
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