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post #1 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 03:04 AM Thread Starter
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religious parents and there teaching

I have a few questions on this.

I was told on Sunday at church by the youth minster that at this church they don't like for there kids/youth to be dating. They don't want them going around dating different people and getting hurt. But they prepare them for marriage. I was alittle shock at this comment but that is what he said. This is a baptist church.

I was quoted this scripture. 2 Corinthians 6:14 also when we was in our meeting. I have been going to this church now for about 3-4 months now. I havent really talked to alot of people there but the people I already knew. Main reason I started to go was not for the right reason. It was cause of a girl. But after going I really started to learn alot and understand it better than when I was little.

Now I am a believer and have always been. I don't live my life out to be how the bible says I should. But that doesn't take away the fact of me being a believer. The reason I say this, is I wonder why he would quote me that scripture and not even knowing if I was a believer or not.


any comments about this whole marriage thing? almost sounds like a colt thing.

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post #2 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 08:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musclestang89
I have a few questions on this.

I was told on Sunday at church by the youth minster that at this church they don't like for there kids/youth to be dating. They don't want them going around dating different people and getting hurt. But they prepare them for marriage. I was alittle shock at this comment but that is what he said. This is a baptist church.

I was quoted this scripture. 2 Corinthians 6:14 also when we was in our meeting. I have been going to this church now for about 3-4 months now. I havent really talked to alot of people there but the people I already knew. Main reason I started to go was not for the right reason. It was cause of a girl. But after going I really started to learn alot and understand it better than when I was little.

Now I am a believer and have always been. I don't live my life out to be how the bible says I should. But that doesn't take away the fact of me being a believer. The reason I say this, is I wonder why he would quote me that scripture and not even knowing if I was a believer or not.


any comments about this whole marriage thing? almost sounds like a colt thing.
What exactly is your question?

6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

On the youth dating side, I'm pretty much at the conclusion that if your kids date, then you can pretty much be sure they are going to end up having sex too. From my church experiences as a youth, everyone who was social and dating was also having sex.

The only people I ever knew who were virgins were people who were not dating at all (not always by their choice hehehe).

Has anyone out there dated, consistently, one on one (not the group thing) under the age of 20 and didn't have sex?

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post #3 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 09:23 AM
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The recent things I have been exposed to are that teenagers should be dating but not exclusively. The idea IS to prepare for marriage by learning about different people. I have heard that the kids should be taught to date only people that have characteristics of people they would want to spend their life with. Dating is supposed to be training. The parents need to talk to their kids about their friends.

My wife is only the second woman I have ever had sex with. Although not a virgin, it is possible to find people who believe what they are taught.

If the concept of preventing dating is to prevent sex, that is showing a lack of faith in the kids.
- The bible mentions wine many times and warns against drunkenness, but some churches forbid wine completely.
- The bible mentions dancing many times (I know, before the Lord and before the ark), but some churches forbid dancing.

Raise your kids right, be engaged with the kids LONG before they are dating, and come back to me when my daughter is older and I know I was living in a fantasy world.

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post #4 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 11:23 AM
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As I understand that verse, it is admonishing believers not to compromise their relationship to Christ and His teachings when in the presence of non-believers. Kids face a lot of peer presure to fit in with certain groups, and the minister may have been suggesting that they avoid such pressure by avoiding it altogether. I do not think Paul was saying that Christians should isolate themselves from non-believers however, just don't substitute their standards of conduct for their own in an effort to fit in.
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post #5 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 04:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musclestang89
I have a few questions on this.

I was told on Sunday at church by the youth minster that at this church they don't like for there kids/youth to be dating. They don't want them going around dating different people and getting hurt. But they prepare them for marriage. I was alittle shock at this comment but that is what he said. This is a baptist church.

I was quoted this scripture. 2 Corinthians 6:14 also when we was in our meeting. I have been going to this church now for about 3-4 months now. I havent really talked to alot of people there but the people I already knew. Main reason I started to go was not for the right reason. It was cause of a girl. But after going I really started to learn alot and understand it better than when I was little.

Now I am a believer and have always been. I don't live my life out to be how the bible says I should. But that doesn't take away the fact of me being a believer. The reason I say this, is I wonder why he would quote me that scripture and not even knowing if I was a believer or not.


any comments about this whole marriage thing? almost sounds like a colt thing.
The verse in Corinthians talks about believers having serious relationships with unbelievers, it is usually applied to marriage. It helps us to answer- Should Christians date/marry non-Christians?

Should you date someone that you have no long term interest in and would never consider marrying?

Should Christian dating look different from how the world looks at dating?

Is it wise to be alone with the opposite sex in a possible intimate location where temptations are sure to be?

Is sexual purity important before marrying?

These may sound silly and uncool to the world but we must get serious and decide if we're going to live like the world or live in conformity to God's Word.

Luke 6
46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?

Last edited by Phillystang; 02-05-2008 at 07:46 PM.
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post #6 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 09:06 PM Thread Starter
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thanks guys, here is my situation, long story short with cliff notes

-- met a girl a work
-- we kissed at work (thats all )
-- only saw her at work and no where else
-- went to her church once
-- was introduced as a co worker (parents didn't know she liked me)
-- parents thought something was up the next week and asked her
-- she told all and they made her quit work
-- called me and told me it was over, said it was not the biblical way and she doesn't see herself with me forever
-- 2-3 months later found out she only said that cause parents made her

-- now i know so I start going to her church
-- i see her at her new job
-- she starts stoping by at my work once or twice a week only for 5 mins
-- we kissed again
-- this goes on for about 3 months
-- i continue to be going to her church
-- parents find out, they are pissed
-- threaten to take her out of school, her car away and her job again
-- youth minster has a meeting with me
-- now thats when he tells me about the marriage thing and reads me the scripture

Now yall are caught up

I think I need to have another talk with the youth minster. At the time I was alittle shock so I didn't say to much. But after going home and looking at that scripture he is saying I'm not a believer. Well I must have said something that makes him think that way. But thats isn't true. I am a believer but I don't live my life by the bible to the fullest. I know I need to work on it.

I think I need to have another meeting with him and get some things straight. Now for her parents, they haven't said anything to me. The youth minster says they don't dislike me or anything it was just the decision of the girl that really upsets them. So right now she is on mad lock down even from her friends that even go to the church. Oh and she is 19 years old. Oh this meeting just happen this Sunday.

"Less talkie talkie more ping pong"
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post #7 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-05-2008, 11:40 PM
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A) She's legally an adult. That her parents continue to have this level of control over her is shocking. And saddening.

B) Your story sounds very similar to one of my high school girlfriends. We dated for a few months, parents really liked me, had me over for dinner regularly. I even attended church with them occasionally. But then as soon as her parents found out I wasn't christian, they have a chat with their pastor (Southern Baptist, naturally), and suddenly I'm a satanist, and will curse their home if I ever set foot in it (nevermind that I'd been in it many times already).

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post #8 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-06-2008, 10:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musclestang89
thanks guys, here is my situation, long story short with cliff notes
Wow. Honest dialogue. Exciting.

So, your 27 and she's 19. Yea, that would certainly raise my suspicions of good intentions as a parent. Sure she's legal, but sounds like she just got to college and is still largely supported by her parents. Hence, she's not grown yet. I'm not a Christian, but I wouldn't be comfortable with you dating my daughter under these circumstances either.

Let see how far the honesty goes.......
Would you go all the way with this girl if she was willing?

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post #9 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-06-2008, 11:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jones4stangs
So, your 27 and she's 19.
The age is probably the problem more so then if he is a Christian or not.

Even if you were a believer the age difference alone can be detrimental to someone not as spiritually mature as you, they may be more willing to follow your path instead of the path God has laid out for them.
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post #10 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-06-2008, 11:33 AM Thread Starter
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yes I know the age thing is alittle off.

And they have mention the age thing to her once, but they did say if I was more involved into church they might over look the age thing. They said around the first time she got into trouble.

Yes she just started school this Jan.

jones4stangs - I could tell you and everyone else all day on here that I would not take it that far even if she was willing and no one would believe me. So I'll just leave that answer at I don't know.

"Less talkie talkie more ping pong"
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post #11 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-06-2008, 01:24 PM
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You may be attracted to each other, but anyone will tell you....the difference between 19 and 27 is HUGE. Not so much in years maybe but life experience and just situations that you have been through in your 20s almost put you in a different category. That alone is enough for the parents. You have to ask yourself what your real intentions are. If you are wanting to do the God -honoring thing, then you won't encourage her to defy her parents at 19, especially if she is being financed by them. Just be friends for now, the parents situation will get better as she gets older and they see your maturity in the church.

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post #12 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-06-2008, 05:56 PM
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Originally Posted by musclestang89
yes I know the age thing is alittle off.

And they have mention the age thing to her once, but they did say if I was more involved into church they might over look the age thing. They said around the first time she got into trouble.

Yes she just started school this Jan.

jones4stangs - I could tell you and everyone else all day on here that I would not take it that far even if she was willing and no one would believe me. So I'll just leave that answer at I don't know.
I'd believe you

Dude, do the right thing, leave her alone.

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post #13 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-06-2008, 09:40 PM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by flashstang04
You may be attracted to each other, but anyone will tell you....the difference between 19 and 27 is HUGE. Not so much in years maybe but life experience and just situations that you have been through in your 20s almost put you in a different category. That alone is enough for the parents. You have to ask yourself what your real intentions are. If you are wanting to do the God -honoring thing, then you won't encourage her to defy her parents at 19, especially if she is being financed by them. Just be friends for now, the parents situation will get better as she gets older and they see your maturity in the church.

Yea I don't want her to be defy her parents. And I never asked her to come see me. We had even talked about it that it needed to stop and let it work out in the long run. Cause I did not want to go against the parents rules.

To be a guy and to be a friend with her is pretty hard. Her parents are pretty strict about that. More than likely whats going to happen is I will continue to go to the church as long as nothing is said to me about not wanting me there. I will just let time take its place and go from there. But I think I need to have that talk with the youth minster and just let me know that I am a believer. I don't want him thinking otherwise.

I have been debating on whether or not to go up to her parents and apologies to them about the whole situation.

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post #14 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-07-2008, 07:20 AM
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Originally Posted by musclestang89
But I think I need to have that talk with the youth minster and just let me know that I am a believer.
So do expect to tell him you believe and its all good? Evidence is in the fruit. John 15:5
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post #15 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-07-2008, 09:30 AM Thread Starter
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So do expect to tell him you believe and its all good? Evidence is in the fruit. John 15:5

no and thats true. I know I will have to show that I am but it will just take time for them to believe me.

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post #16 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-08-2008, 09:36 AM
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I think they are upset about the age and are using religion to try to justify their responce.

The question on my mind is "What is a 27 year olds interst in a 19 year old?" She is still iving under her parents roof, so she still has to live by their rules. I would have a problem with my daughter dating someone that much older, but I would handle it myself and leave the youth minister out of it.

You might have honorable intensions, but if she is going to school and if you have anything real, you can wait for her and her for you.

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post #17 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-17-2008, 04:36 AM
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First, the fact that she is that controlled by her parents at 19 is crazy. Second, yes I dated a girl for about 5 months before we started getting it on when I was 15 and she was 16, so it can be done but we were a lot younder than you guys. Third, the youth minister is jealous that you have a chance with a 19 year old. Back when I went to church (same time period, 15-16 years old) the youth minister ended up tapping my GF's best friend on the side for a while before he went to another church. Don't forget a man never loses the desire to conquer young ass and in a youth minister's eyes if he can't then you can't. Best of luck.

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post #18 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-17-2008, 11:29 AM Thread Starter
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it just gets crazier and crazier. The past week, her step mom wanted a meeting with all the other girls that knew about us seeing each other. She wanted to tell them she very upset they didn't say anything to her or her dad.

And one of the girls is the preacher daughter, well she had to write a letter. Not for sure who it was to yet. Prolly to the parents. Her dad made her di that.

Another controlling thing, the girl I was seeing, well last weekend her parents went out of town. Maybe for just 1 or 2 days and that was it. They made her go to her cousin house. They would not let her stay there.

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post #19 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-17-2008, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by musclestang89
it just gets crazier and crazier. The past week, her step mom wanted a meeting with all the other girls that knew about us seeing each other. She wanted to tell them she very upset they didn't say anything to her or her dad.

And one of the girls is the preacher daughter, well she had to write a letter. Not for sure who it was to yet. Prolly to the parents. Her dad made her di that.

Another controlling thing, the girl I was seeing, well last weekend her parents went out of town. Maybe for just 1 or 2 days and that was it. They made her go to her cousin house. They would not let her stay there.
Thats fucked up. If she lets herself be controlled like that at her age then run. The 16 year old that I was talking about was the preacher's grandaughter and she wasn't half that bad. It is worth mention that to this day I have the upmost respect for her grandfather, he is a great man assuming he is still alive.

I gotta ask, are you a creepy kind of guy? I mean religion in general is a bit creepy to me but I understand because I have been there and it is a bit of a high, but at this point don't you think maybe you should find another church that you would like to attend and put your nose back to the wind? There are other churches and other girls out there. Just think of the shear numbers of females out there... it is staggering. You will find one just as hot that you like at least as much if not more.

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post #20 of 29 (permalink) Old 02-19-2008, 02:18 PM
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That's a good age for you.

Women are more mature than men, so you two are probably at about the same maturity level.

And you should be better financially able to raise a family as you age, statistically at least, so in a few years when she starts wanting kids you should already be pursuing a career, have a house, etc. Statistically, at least.

Plus by the time she gets into her 50s and starts looking like ass, your old man eyesight will be crappy even with glasses, so it won't matter

Ask the hoidy-toidy preacher who wrote Corinthians and what that person thought about marriage itself
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post #21 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-17-2008, 03:04 PM
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I dont see the problem she is of age to make her own decisions. But if she was my daughter i would probably be the same way. There is a time where you have to let your kids go and be adults if you have raised them right they will know what to do.

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post #22 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-17-2008, 08:14 PM
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So did you ever get to lay the pipe on that young broad?
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post #23 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-17-2008, 09:54 PM Thread Starter
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So did you ever get to lay the pipe on that young broad?

lol, nope never tired.

its all over now bascially.

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post #24 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-18-2008, 08:29 AM
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lol, nope never tired.

its all over now bascially.
Are you still attending that church or are you looking for a different place to go now?

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post #25 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-18-2008, 11:08 AM Thread Starter
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Are you still attending that church or are you looking for a different place to go now?

no longer attending that one. I might start going with my sister. She said she found one that she likes. So I might check that out with her.

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post #26 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-19-2008, 03:48 PM
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When you find a new church let us know if it has a good selection of 16-19 yo chicks.
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post #27 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-19-2008, 05:05 PM
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When you find a new church let us know if it has a good selection of 16-19 yo chicks.
rotfl

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post #28 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-19-2008, 09:58 PM Thread Starter
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When you find a new church let us know if it has a good selection of 16-19 yo chicks.


lol will do

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post #29 of 29 (permalink) Old 03-31-2008, 06:13 PM
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There are many reasons why the bible wants kids to wait till they are old enough to date and marry,one of them is that the bible condems to fornicate(having sex before getting married) of all ages..1Tess4:3.
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