kind of long.. Thermodynamics of Hell essay - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 10:20 AM Thread Starter
 
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kind of long.. Thermodynamics of Hell essay

The Thermodynamics of Hell

Note received from University of Washington, February 10th 2001



Subject: The Thermodynamics of Hell

The following is an actual question given on university of Washington chemistry mid term.

The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving.

I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that exist in the world today.

Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates being as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year, "... that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then answer 2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

(The student received the only "A" given)
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 11:04 AM
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Thats pretty funny. Flawed, but funny.

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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 11:57 AM
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i wonder what kind of grade you would have gotten for "I don't believe in Hell"

 
post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 12:07 PM Thread Starter
 
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lmao!!!
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 12:08 PM
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Well, I would assume that you could turn around what this guy said. He claims everyone goes to hell. You could just say that no one goes to hell and hell is neither growing or shrinking. Thus staying at at a constant 75 year round, similar to San Fran. Some would even venture to say that San Fran is hell.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 12:30 PM
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if hell doesn't exist, then it's pointless to assume
post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 12:32 PM Thread Starter
 
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lmao.. I knew a guy one time that thought this right here(earth) was Hell and us being here was actually a test to see if we should go to heaven...
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by The Big Matt
if hell doesn't exist, then it's pointless to assume
No one can "prove" one way or another for the existance of hell, since no one alive has been there, we can only assume whether it exists or not. So to say that you dont believe in hell is based on the assumption that your belief system is correct.
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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 02:22 PM
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and vise versa...
post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 02:30 PM
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Matt doesn't have a penis because he hasn't seen it in 5years.

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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 05-17-2004, 02:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by Monsoon X
Matt doesn't have a penis because he hasn't seen it in 5years.
i see it everyday, i play with it everyday, i pee with it everyday...

i'm not that fat, and it's not that small...

this is not the forum to be posting that at all, i'll gonna run tell dat do the moderator
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