Some funny, albeit I'm sure misattributed quotes - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-16-2001, 08:51 PM Thread Starter
GE
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haha. I like the last one.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-17-2001, 12:48 AM
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Post Some funny, albeit I'm sure misattributed quotes

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
relationships,"
Sharon Stone

"When the sun comes up, I have morals again,"
Elizabeth Taylor

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is,"
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet,"
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place,"
Billy Crystal

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
like
and just give her a house,"
Rod Stewart

"On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand,
we
can open all our own jars,"
Bruce Willis

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men.
Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps,"
Tiger Woods

"Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'
Patricia Arquette

"Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment
turns
the state into a gay dungeon-master."
Rev. Jesse Jackson

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the
only time of the month that I can be myself. "
Roseanne

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing
in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They
say
that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just
grateful,"
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are
having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe
swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I
know
what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked,"
Jerry Seinfeld

"Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
Courtney Cox, Monica on "Friends"

"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in
poverty.
Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing
quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)

AND THE NUMBER ONE QUOTE IS
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough
blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams


------------------
Yellow '90 5.0
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Not much else
post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-19-2001, 08:06 AM
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
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thats some funny shit
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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 08-23-2001, 02:01 AM
Floored...
 
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Dude, thats some true shiznit there.
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