Beer Troubleshooting...... - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-21-2001, 05:54 PM Thread Starter
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Memphis, TN
Posts: 439
Post Beer Troubleshooting......

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.


SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself chained to bar.


SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.


SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.


SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.


SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.


SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender, take taxi home.


SYMPTOM: Truck suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.


SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and laughs.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy looking.

*my favorite *
SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.


SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.


SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.


SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.


SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.


SYMPTOM: Cold and unable to unlock door to hotel room.
FAULT: Woke up in hotel room, got up to go to bathroom and chose wrong door.
ACTION: Knock loudly on door to wake sleeping wife. If this fails, find hotel worker to unlock door for you.

P
PatrickCarter is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-21-2001, 05:56 PM
Renegade GT
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Post

Bwahahahahahahaha, oh wait, I don't drink beer...

------------------
93 GT STROKED & LOTS OF NITROUS
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-21-2001, 06:23 PM
IA2
 
mikeb's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 22,413
Post

I think i've done a few of those...

My all time favorite was losing my car and
having to drive around town to find it in
a friend's car after we sobered up.

------------------

Edelbrock 1.90 heads,intake,cam (E303),BBK shorties,
K&N,flos,3.55s,T5Z,blah,blah,blah
mikeb is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-21-2001, 07:42 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Coppell, TX
Posts: 818
Post

hehe
JordonMusser is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-22-2001, 01:52 PM
Resident Ankle Biter
 
KiwiGT's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Mommytown
Posts: 4,920
Post

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.


You guys remember this when we're drinking!
KiwiGT is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 08-23-2001, 01:56 AM
Floored...
 
Mr Evil's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Your Town
Posts: 3,499
Post

hahha
Mr Evil is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome