The Red Shirt
This is one of my favourite jokes.. I've been telling it for years.
I hope ya'll like it, 'cause it took too long to type out.
The was once a Pirate ship that dominated the waters around Britain. It would take even the biggest ships, with the biggest loot.
Before every battle, the Captain would say to his First Mate, "First Mate, bring me my Red shirt." He would, they'd fight, they'd win, they'd get richer.
Every battle, "Bring me my Red shirt."
After many years, the First Mate asked, "Captain, why do you always need to wear your Red shirt?"
"Well," said the Captain, "If I wear my Red shirt during battle, then when I get struck, stabbed, poked.. then the blood won't be visible. That way, the crew sees me fighting strong, and they will too!"
One day, the pirates spotted a Queen's Navy ship.. "Bring me my Red shirt!" yelled the Captain to the First Mate,and they looted it.
The Queen was very unhappy, so she sent out her two best captains on her two best ships to kill the pirates.
When the pirates saw them, the Captain said "Bring me my Red shirt!" They fought a long, hard battle...but the Pirates won again.
The Queen had a fit when she heard the news. She ordered the entire British Navy to go out after the Pirates.
One morning a few weeks later, the First Mate on the Pirate ship ran into the Captain's room, where he was sleeping. "CAPTAIN! COME UPSTAIRS!"
The Captain jumped out of bed, and ran upstairs onto the deck.
The horizon was covered with Queen's Navy ships. Hundreds of them.
The Captain looked at his First Mate, and said,
"First Mate...bring me my brown pants."
Yellow '90 5.0
Misc. little mods
Just got it this month!