A police officer pulled a guy over for speeding.
Officer: May I see your driverís license?
Driver: I donít have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the ownerís card for this vehicle?
Driver: Itís not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: Thatís right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the ownerís card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: Thereís a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. Thatís where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: Thereís a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Whoís car is this?
Driver: Itís mine, officer. Hereís the ownerí card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if thereís a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but thereís no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said thereís a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I donít understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didnít have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, Iíll bet the lying sombich told you I was speeding, too.