If people bought cars like they bought computers - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-14-2001, 09:02 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 128
Post If people bought cars like they bought computers

General Motors doesn't have a "help line" for people who don't
know how to drive, because people don't buy cars like they buy
computers -- but imagine if they did ...

================================================== =============

HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "I got in my car and closed the door, and nothing
happened!"

HELPLINE: "Did you put the key in the ignition slot and turn it?"

CUSTOMER: "What's an ignition?"

HELPLINE: "It's a starter motor that draws current from your
battery and turns over the engine."

CUSTOMER: "Ignition? Motor? Battery? Engine? How come I have to
know all of these technical terms just to use my car?"

================================================== =============
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "My car ran fine for a week, and now it won't go
anywhere!"

HELPLINE: "Is the gas tank empty?"

CUSTOMER: "Huh? How do I know?"

HELPLINE: "There's a little guage on the front panel, with a
needle, and markings from 'E' to 'F.' Where is the needle
pointing?"

CUSTOMER: "It's pointing to 'E.' What does that mean?"

HELPLINE: "It means that you have to visit a gasoline vendor, and
purchase some more gasoline. You can install it yourself, or pay
the vendor to install it for you."

CUSTOMER: "What!? I paid $12,000 for this car! Now you tell me
that I have to keep buying more components? I want a car that
comes with everything built in!"

================================================== =============
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Your car sucks!"

HELPLINE: "What's wrong?"

CUSTOMER: "It crashed, that's what went wrong!"

HELPLINE: "What were you doing?"

CUSTOMER: "I wanted to run faster, so I pushed the accelerator
pedal all the way to the floor. It worked for a while, and then
it crashed -- and now it won't start!"

HELPLINE: "It's your responsibility if you misuse the product.
What do you expect us to do about it?"

CUSTOMER: "I want you to send me one of the latest versions that
doesn't crash anymore!"

================================================== =============
HELPLINE: "General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "Hi! I just bought my first car, and I chose your car
because it has automatic transmission, cruise control, power
steering, power brakes, and power door locks."

HELPLINE: "Thanks for buying our car. How can I help you?"

CUSTOMER: "How do I work it?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "Do I know how to what?"

HELPLINE: "Do you know how to drive?"

CUSTOMER: "I'm not a technical person! I just want to go places
in my car!"
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-14-2001, 09:54 PM
racinchick79
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Hahaha.
post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-15-2001, 10:55 AM
NoStangYet
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Talking

lol
That's hilarious.
Anyone who's ever done tech support knows..
 
post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 05-15-2001, 08:20 PM
Kaji93TA
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doesn't ARH do tech support? oh ya he doesn't do anything hahahahaha
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