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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-04-2001, 09:12 PM Thread Starter
 
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Post Little Johnny

I posted this one a few months ago, but it is one of my favorites.

It's Thursday afternoon, the teacher has just anounced that there is about to be a quiz on the Alamo. Little Johnny is thrilled, he knows everthing about the Alamo.
TEACHER: "Ok, whoever gets theese questions right, can go home, not come to school tomorrow and enjoy a three day weekend. Ok, first question, who led the Spanish troops at the battle of the Alamo?"

LITTLE JOHNNY: (waving hand wildly) "ME! ME! CALL ON ME!"

TEACHER: (thinking, I will not call on Johnny he always says something bad, calls on) "Mary."

MARY: "General Santa Anna."

TEACHER: "Very good Mary, put up your books, go home, I'll see you on Monday."

Little Johnny is pissed.

TEACHER: "Next question, how many American troops were there at the Alamo?"

LITTLE JOHNNY: "ME! ME! CALL ON ME!!!"

TEACHER: "Billy."

BILLY: "183."

TEACHER: "Very good Billy, put up your books, go home, I'll see you on Monday."

Little Johnny, now very pissed, raises his folder in front of his face and screams

"WHERE DID ALL THEESE FUCKING MEXICANS COME FROM?"

TEACHER: "WHO said that?"

LITTLE JOHNNY: "DAVY CROCKETT BITCH, see ya on Monday!!!"




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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-04-2001, 09:44 PM
SNEAKYLILCOUPE
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oh shit

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89 5.0 COUPE,LOOKS KINDA INNOCENT BUT RUNS SEVENS IN THE 1/8 WITH JUST A shot of nos.
http://24.17.129.131/billy.htm
post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-08-2001, 02:56 AM
429scj
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Woohoo, More dam I Cried on that 1.

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Umm... its a 3O2 I Swear......
 
post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-09-2001, 12:35 AM
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Just Save It!
One day, the mother walks by her young son's room and sees little Johnny masturbating. Later, she has a talk with him and tells him that good little boys save it until they are married. A few weeks later, the mom is having another talk with little Johnny. "How are you doing with that problem we talked about, dear?" she asks. Little Johnny cheerfully replies, "Great! So far, I've saved nearly a quart!"
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-09-2001, 12:37 AM
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Little Johnny is running around the house making life miserable for his mother. She says, "Johnny, why don't you go across the street and watch them build the house. Maybe you can learn some neat things."

Johnny disappears for about four hours and returns later in the afternoon. "Did you learn anything interesting today?" his mother asks. "I learned how to hang a door," Johnny replies. Mom says, "That's great! How do you do that?" "Well, first you get the son of bitch. Then, you slap the piece of shit up there but it's too damn small. So you shave a cunt hair off here and a cunt hair off there and put the goddamn thing up."

Johnny's mom is floored by his language. "You go to your room and wait until your father gets home!!" Later, Johnny's dad goes into his room and says, "I understand you got in a little trouble today." "All I did was tell Mom how to hang a door." "Why don't you tell me," Dad asks. "Well, first you get the son of bitch. Then you slap the piece of shit up there but it's too dang small. So you shave a cunt hair off here and a cunt hair off there and put the goddamn thing up."

Dad screams, "That's it young man. You go get a switch from the back yard." Johnny looks at his dad and says, "Screw you, that's the fuckin electricians job!"
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-09-2001, 12:41 AM
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Little Johnny can't sleep. So he gets up and enters his parents bedroom. It's not too late and his folks are caught in a very revealing and compromising position. Johnny is shocked! "Daddy! Mommy! What's wrong! Are you okay?" he asks hesitantly.

His father being the quick thinker that he is stammers, "Uhm! Your mommy and I are, ummm, making you a baby brother or sister to play with. It takes a while and it looks funny but that's how it's done."

Little Johnny thinks for a while and nods in satisfaction. His dad is extremely pleased and sends him back to bed. A week later, Johnny is bawling his head off on the front porch. "What's wrong Johnny?" asked his worried father. "You know my baby brother you and mommy were making?" "Yeah?,"

Little Johnny cries, "Well, while you were at work, mommy let the mailman in and he ate my baby brother!!"
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-09-2001, 12:42 AM
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Lone Ranger

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.

One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?"

"It'll teach those Indians not to FUCK with the Lone Ranger."
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