shorter and simpler verson:
A police officer was driving down the street when he saw a young boy walking alone down the sidewalk. After pulling over, he rolled down his window and asked the boy "do you need a ride home, son?"
To which the boy replied "NO, I don't wanna go home! My momma beats me!"
The officer then asks "Well, what about your father?" The boy proclaims "My daddy beats me, too!!!". The officer looks at the boy and asks "Well, where would you like me to take you?" The little boy looks at the officer, and after thinking it over for a few seconds, says "I know, take me to the Dallas Cowboys! They don't beat ANYBODY!!!"
You WILL have: Long Blonde Hair, Big Green Eyes, World Class Breasts, A Butt That Won't Quit, and Legs..that go ALL THE WAY UP!!!