A cute blonde was tooling late to work and speeding a little bit, when out from behind a bridge a Highway Patrolman with radar pulled her over. After asking for the customary registration, proof of insurance and drivers license he decided to make small talk with her.
He finally asked her why she was speeding. The blonde replied, "I'm late to work". Not missing a beat the cop asked "what do you do for a living"?
The blonde replied "I'm an asshole stretcher".
"Whaaattt, you need to explain yourself".
Well I lube my fingers and I start massaging and get a finger in. After a little while I can get 2 fingers in. After some more work I can do a hand then the arm until I finally can massage it out till I get an asshole of about 6 feet!
The cop asks "what can you do with a 6 foot asshole"?
The blonde says " simple give him a radar gun and hide him behind a bridge"!