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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 04-16-2010, 10:27 AM Thread Starter
Lifer
 
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Smile 2 jokes for the day

Taxi Driver #1

A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a
question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimeters from a shop window.

For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"

The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much. "

The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my
first day as a cab driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."

Let Him Dig!!! #2

An old man and an old woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!'


Neighbors feared him. They believed he practiced black magic, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood.

The old man liked the fact that he was feared. To everyone's relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68.

His wife had a closed casket at the wake. After the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party, as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, 'Aren't you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?'

The wife put down her drink and said, 'Let him dig. I had him buried upside down.'

Damn women! They think of everything!! !
By VIVEK DMELLO, G.M.

Some people are like Slinkies- Not really good for anything, But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 04-16-2010, 11:45 AM
I hate ghetto niggers
 
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I chuckled.

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post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 04-18-2010, 11:08 PM
PAN
 
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Laughed at the first one.

At the second I just rolled my eyes because that sounds like some kind of shit my wife would pull...
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