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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:34 PM Thread Starter
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A homeless mans funeral

I doubt if any of you know this, but I play the bagpipes.

Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery out in the boonies in east Texas.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical guy I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral director had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played "Amazing Grace" the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my truck. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for over twenty years."

I know, it's a joke... but it just wouldn't have the same effect in that forum


.

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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:38 PM
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Yall buried him in a septic tank??
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:38 PM
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Wrong forum, newb.
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:41 PM
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Hahaha, good stuff.


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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:42 PM
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Good man... Doesnt seem like there are enough good people out there these days

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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:43 PM
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Yall buried him in a septic tank??
Yes, they buried him in a septic tank.

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Hypnotize the desperate

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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-21-2010, 11:55 PM
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Yes, they buried him in a septic tank.

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I'll bet that shit stank (stunk? stinked?).


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Women: vaginal life support.
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 12:04 AM
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lulz
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 01:58 AM
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lame

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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 02:01 AM
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I read this on the Texas Hunting Forum a while ago. The guy that posted it is about 70-80 years old or so. Needless to say, I thought it was a serious post when he put it up. I LMAO for a while on that one.

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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 02:37 AM
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hell i was about to start askin questions about playing the bag pipe lol
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 02:40 AM
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It's best left in this forum, because we all thought it was real at first. That was a good one.
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 03:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Strychnine View Post
I doubt if any of you know this, but I play the bagpipes.

Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery out in the boonies in east Texas.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and being a typical guy I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral director had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch. I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play.

The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around. I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man.

And as I played "Amazing Grace" the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together. When I finished I packed up my bagpipes and started for my truck. Though my head hung low, my heart was full.

As I was opening the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "Sweet Mother of Jesus, I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for over twenty years."

I know, it's a joke... but it just wouldn't have the same effect in that forum
I played my best for him pa rum pa pum pum

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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 06:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Strychnine View Post
I doubt if any of you know this, but I play the nutsack.
Fixed, and yes, we know...

Last edited by 03trubluGT; 03-22-2010 at 06:27 AM.
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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 07:50 AM
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Bagpipes??? Of all instruments, why bagpipes?

"Time is the best teacher.........unfortunately it kills everyone of its students"
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 08:18 AM
The first, the original
 
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LOL....got some real swift ones on this site
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 08:32 AM
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WTF its a joke...

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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 09:27 AM
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COUNTRY CEMETERY
As a young minister, I was asked by a funeral director to hold a
grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.
The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and
this man would be the first to be laid to rest there.

As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost;
and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an
hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who was eating lunch, but the
hearse was nowhere in sight. I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault
lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for
long, but this was the proper thing to do.

The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I poured out my heart and soul. As I preached the workers began to say "Amen,"
"Praise the Lord," and "Glory"! I preached, and I preached,
like I'd never preached before: from Genesis all the way to Revelations.
I closed the lengthy service with a prayer and walked to my car.
As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of
the workers saying to another, "I ain't never seen anything like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 09:32 AM
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"
I really wish someone would delete your account.

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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 09:59 AM
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I really wish someone would delete your account.
shut up bitch!
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post #21 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-22-2010, 08:15 PM
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i almost started to get choked up and shit.. haha nice.

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post #22 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 10:26 AM
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That shit was funny, lol.
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post #23 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-23-2010, 11:43 PM
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Finally! A good joke!
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post #24 of 24 (permalink) Old 03-25-2010, 01:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarrisonBT View Post
I played my best for him pa rum pa pum pum
Now that's funny! Would really have been great about 3 months ago


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