How a 7 year old explains sex - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2009, 09:12 AM Thread Starter
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How a 7 year old explains sex

How a seven year old explains sex!!

Little Johnny was 7 years old and like other boys his age rather curious.



He had been hearing quite a bit
about 'making out'
from the older boys, and he wondered
what it was
and how it was done.

One day he took his question to his
mother, who
became rather flustered. Instead of
explaining
things to Johnny, she told him to hide
behind the
curtains one night and watch his older
sister and
her boyfriend.

This he did. The following morning,
Johnny
described EVERYTHING to his mother.

"Sis and her boyfriend sat and talked for
a while,
then he turned off most of the lights.
Then he
started kissing and hugging her. I
figured 'Sis must
be getting sick, because her face started
looking
funny.


He must have thought so too, because he
put his
hand inside her blouse to feel her heart,
just the
way the doctor would. Except he's not as
smart as
the doctor because he seemed to have
trouble
finding her heart. I guess he was getting
sick too,
because pretty soon both of them started
panting
and getting all out of breath.



His other hand must have been cold
because he
put it under her skirt.



About this time 'Sis got worse and began
to moan
and sigh and squirm around and slide
down
toward
the end of the couch. This was when her
fever
started. I knew it was a fever, because Sis
told him
she felt really hot.



Finally, I found out what was making
them so
sick......-a big eel ;had gotten inside his
pants
somehow. It just jumped out of his pants
and
stood there, about 10 inches long,
honest, anyway
he grabbed it in one hand to keep it from
getting
away.



When Sis saw it, she got really scared-her
eyes
got big, and her mouth fell open, and
she started
calling out to God and stuff like that. She
said it
was the biggest one she's ever seen; I
should tell
her about the ones down at the lake by
our house!



Anyway, Sis got brave and tried to kill the
eel by
biting its head off.The eel spit on her face
a little bit and then, All of a sudden she
grabbed it
with both hands and held it tight while he
took a
muzzle out of his pocket and slipped it
over the
eel's head to keep it from biting again.



Sis lay back and spread her legs so she
could get
a scissor-lock on it and he helped by lying
on top
of the eel. The eel put up a hell of a
fight.



Sis started groaning and squealing and
her
boyfriend almost upset the couch. I guess
they
wanted to kill the eel by squashing it
between
them.



After a while they both quit moving and

gave a

great sigh. Her boyfriend got up, and sure

enough,

they killed the eel. I knew because it just

hung

there, limp, and some of its insides were

hanging

out.



Sis and her boyfriend were a little tired

from the

battle, but they went back to courting

anyway. He

started hugging and kissing her again. By

golly,

the eel wasn't dead! It jumped straight up

and

started to fight again.



I guess eels are like cats- they have nine

lives or

something. This time, Sis jumped up and

tried to

kill it by sitting on it. After about a 35

minute

struggle, they finally killed the eel. I knew

it was

dead, because I saw Sis's boyfriend peel

its skin

off and flush it down the toilet.

Wanna see my care face?
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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2009, 10:12 AM
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I wish my eel came back to life that quick for round 2.

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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2009, 11:46 AM
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Funny, but way too fucking long and not funny enough to make it worth reading it all. I'm disappointed.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2009, 12:22 PM
Rolling the one fiddy.
 
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Funny stuff.
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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2009, 01:27 PM
 
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teenagers. do it as many times as they want in one night, now its just a one round and lights out
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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 11-30-2009, 09:15 PM
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lol funny shit.
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 12-03-2009, 02:14 PM
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That was funny but kinda anti climatic.. (no pun intended.)
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