Man Rules...I chuckled - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-02-2009, 09:49 PM Thread Starter
I got your Jihad!!
 
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Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Big D
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Man Rules...I chuckled

The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.


These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports: It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials...

1.

Christopher Columbus did NOT

need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round or Slim IS a shape!





2004 Dodge Ram SRT10 RC
2005 Big Dog Chopper 117ci
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post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-02-2009, 09:54 PM
Lifer
 
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funny shit right there!
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post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-02-2009, 09:55 PM
dee
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Location: Texas
Posts: 1,188
Thats pretty funny and true
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post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-02-2009, 11:40 PM
Lifer
 
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Location: Lake Worthless
Posts: 2,305
im putting this on the fridge.

1995 Cobra

8.8 1/8th mile on stock motor (225k miles) w/exhaust 3.73's and drag radials.
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post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-03-2009, 12:15 AM
slapahoe tx
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jnobles06 View Post
im putting this on the fridge.
haha good idea


Quote:
Originally Posted by 03trubluGT View Post
I'd let you fuck me in the ass for that car!
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post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-03-2009, 07:51 AM
Lifer
 
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LOL, awesome
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post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-03-2009, 10:57 AM
Lifer
 
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Location: Las Vegas, Nv
Posts: 1,409
Man Rules - I'm in.
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post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-03-2009, 12:10 PM
Lifer
 
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lmao, and it's true. I'm keeping this for my wedding vows!
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post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-03-2009, 01:04 PM
Grass Snake
 
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lmao

Oxford white 03 cobra aka Grass Snake
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post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 05-03-2009, 01:08 PM
Lifer
 
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I liked this one.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT
need directions and neither do we.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cmarsh93z
Don't Fuck with DFWStangs...the most powerfull gang I have ever been a member of.
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post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-07-2009, 12:06 PM
BANNED
 
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lol
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post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-07-2009, 12:11 PM
BANNED
 
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I sent this to the wife... highlighted a few... might be in the dog house tonight haha.
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post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 06-08-2009, 01:39 PM
LUCIFER
 
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Posts: 5,462
greatness

2004 GT Conv't

MODS:
FLOWS, 3.73'S, BASSANI O/R X-PIPE, ACCUFAB 75MM TB, PLENUM, AND VORTECH V-3 SUPERCHARGED


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