And then the fight started... - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 10:57 PM Thread Starter
Lifer
 
Trip McNeely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 29,396
And then the fight started...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....



I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....



Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the
dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, 'The weather out there is terrible.'

My loving wife of 10 years replied, 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
& And then the fight started ...



A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy
****. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He
smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast
as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the
woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.....



I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....


A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....





I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept
staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend
. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...


After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security.
The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age.
I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt.' So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.
She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security offic e.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 160 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...



My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

CANADIANS = DOUCHERS

Trip McNeely is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 11:05 PM
Aspiring Bean Counter.
 
Slowhand's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Howard Johnson's Earthlight Room
Posts: 12,279
I lol'd. Doesn't this belong in the jokes section though?

Slowhand is offline  
post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 11:05 PM Thread Starter
Lifer
 
Trip McNeely's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Posts: 29,396
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slowhand View Post
I lol'd. Doesn't this belong in the jokes section though?
Yeah, im not sure. I figured since it was along the same lines as the FML.

CANADIANS = DOUCHERS

Trip McNeely is offline  
 
post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 11:11 PM
Marcus Aurelius
 
Mystic96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Southlake, TX
Posts: 4,249
those are funny shit, but I don't be suprised when people start posting the "fuck fowarded emails" posts...

--Marcus
Mystic96 is offline  
post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 11:18 PM
#4 Best QB Ever
 
That_Is_My_El_Camino's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Land of the Free
Posts: 29,339
Some of them are Al Bundyesque.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
That_Is_My_El_Camino is offline  
post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-16-2009, 11:22 PM
Lifer
 
mustang87's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in the past
Posts: 2,896
that shit is funny
mustang87 is offline  
post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:10 AM
Project X in tha Works
 
fst_stng's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: In a HoLe
Posts: 1,542
lmfao!!

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
fst_stng is offline  
post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:26 AM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
in b4 forwarded e-mails
RyanB is offline  
post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:26 AM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
don't post forwarded e-mails
RyanB is offline  
post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:27 AM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
in after forwarded e-mails
RyanB is offline  
post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:41 AM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 14,194
Who the fuck is this trip McNeely motherfuck?

I swear to god, if he owns a fucking BMW Im gonna make him suck my dick to prove he's gay.
David is offline  
post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:44 AM
DFWS
 
scootro's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: none of your fuckin business
Posts: 6,990
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mystic96 View Post
those are funny shit, but I don't be suprised when people start posting the "fuck fowarded emails" posts...
man i hate those! most of my buddies work in office type settings and thats all do is send me stupid crap all day!

i guess they know i hate it so much

Keepin' The Old School Alive
scootro is offline  
post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 12:58 AM
Full tilt boogie !!
 
Txstang1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: out yonder way
Posts: 10,208
Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Trip McNeely View Post
Yeah, im not sure. I figured since it was along the same lines as the FML.
Good stuff.

Better hope Raven doesnt see it in the wrong forum..

**SKAGG NASTY** Just another 9 second street car.


Txstang1 is offline  
post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 01:29 AM
I'm going Commando
 
RyanB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
Thumbs down

Yeah, if anyone posts a picture we'll have to move a great thread into the pic/vids forum where it dies.
RyanB is offline  
post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 01:29 AM
you cant see me
 
Futurama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: pantherville
Posts: 15,960
[email protected] you having a wife
Futurama is offline  
post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-17-2009, 06:09 PM
Lifer
 
Wicked98Snake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Valley Ranch
Posts: 1,169
Those had me rollin.

Powdered doughnuts make me go nuts!
Wicked98Snake is offline  
post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 02:38 PM
BANNED
 
mustangguy289's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 10,098
LOL thanks I needed a good laugh
mustangguy289 is offline  
post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-19-2009, 03:45 PM
insert something aqui
 
junior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: grand prairie
Posts: 5,779
good ones

1991 lx 5.0

lil ol 302

Back In The Jackstand Racing Crew!
junior is offline  
post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-23-2009, 07:42 AM
LUCIFER
 
bjtheman1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Aubrey
Posts: 5,462
LOL, those are great

2004 GT Conv't

MODS:
FLOWS, 3.73'S, BASSANI O/R X-PIPE, ACCUFAB 75MM TB, PLENUM, AND VORTECH V-3 SUPERCHARGED


bjtheman1 is offline  
post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-26-2009, 11:49 PM
who cares
 
sassystang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: dfwmotorsports.net
Posts: 13,716
lol, good ones!


Got sass?
sassystang is offline  
post #21 of 21 (permalink) Old 03-27-2009, 09:31 AM
aka The Cougar
 
Leah's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: under investigationalmentalisms
Posts: 16,782
Those were funny!

Token Split Tail

Quote:
Originally Posted by slow99
Lmao...my favorite female poster strikes again.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pokulski-Blatz View Post
You are a moron .... you were fucking with the most powerful vagina on DFW stangs.
Leah is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome