Craigslist ad, kinda of a joke... - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 11:48 AM Thread Starter
2-7 and still a fan!
 
BOOSTED32V's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In a place that has become a ghost town...
Posts: 16,954
Talking Craigslist ad, kinda of a joke...

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900 (Ronan / Lake County )

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Reply to: [email protected] [?]
Date: 2008-11-19, 10:04PM MST

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consi der superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.

Rock on.

Last edited by BOOSTED32V; 03-04-2009 at 12:20 PM.
BOOSTED32V is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 12:04 PM
slapahoe tx
 
joes01bullitt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Duncanville/ Grand Prarie
Posts: 2,360
Lmao Wtf!? :d
joes01bullitt is offline  
post #3 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 12:09 PM
Punk Ass Newbie
 
Chuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Providence Village
Posts: 4,554
LMAO!!!

Hammer Pants = Deal

Chuck
2001 Black Bullitt (For Sale)
2009 Black JK Unlimited X, M6, 35's
www.imboc.com
Rob (Tweakd) Memorial 3/13/05
Chuck is offline  
 
post #4 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 12:40 PM Thread Starter
2-7 and still a fan!
 
BOOSTED32V's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In a place that has become a ghost town...
Posts: 16,954
I was LMAO too, it had pics of the Exterra but it was nothing worth posting, but the hammer pants, I had to post that funny ass shit!

Quote:
Originally Posted by centexchick View Post
I fuck, have sex, make love. If I break out the heels and leather...then a fucking it is.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mutherjuggz View Post
Cupping the bawls always helps with the sensation, Good rule of thumb is to tell the gal to rub the balls any chance/angle she gets.
BOOSTED32V is offline  
post #5 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 12:50 PM
HPP = GHEY
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Listening to 01svtboy BITCH about his trailer!!!
Posts: 2,894
thats awesome...

Nick's Custom Detailing 214-205-1287

Quote:
Originally Posted by kennybo View Post
Don't care if you do. This is not going to be another talk about Kenny's Cobalt thread. I know what my other car runs and I am proud of it. It might be hard for you to swallow that pill, but there are lots of 4 bangers that run 13s and better. SRT-4 Neons, Cobalt SS's, Saturn Sky Redline's and Evo's do it all the time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mach1Marauder
HPP FUCKED ME OVER!!!
Turbo5.4 is offline  
post #6 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 01:02 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Arlington
Posts: 1,028
Thats funny how its for the manliest of men, for every 10 Xterras I see 9 are driven by 17-23 year old blondes with their big Paris Hilton sunglasses. I didn't know men even drove them

MrSS is offline  
post #7 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 01:10 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,915
That's hilarious & very creative LOL Good post
Spec5alive is offline  
post #8 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 06:17 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, TX
Posts: 1,059
LMAO!

Great post!









www.AutoConnectionUSA.net



www.AutoConnectionUSA.net

AutoConnection USA LLC
7100 South Cooper Street
Arlington, TX 76001
(800)951-5714
Brandon Daniels or Allen Love
One of our latest Dyno Videos!!
AutoConnection_USA is offline  
post #9 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-18-2008, 11:42 PM
Lifer
 
Wicked98Snake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Valley Ranch
Posts: 1,169
That's priceless.

Powdered doughnuts make me go nuts!
Wicked98Snake is offline  
post #10 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-19-2008, 01:11 AM
Rice User
 
threefortytwo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Bedford
Posts: 2,644
Quote:
Originally Posted by BOOSTED32V
You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself.
LMMFAO!
threefortytwo is offline  
post #11 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-19-2008, 09:26 PM
Mentally Impaired
 
donnie90stang's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Mt. Pleasant, Tx
Posts: 2,367
This guy may have very well exceeded the legal amount of action movies one human should ever watch. Fuckin hilarious!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Biggums View Post
It's the American way. I want to do the right thing, but only if it's on my terms and I can half ass my way through it.
donnie90stang is offline  
post #12 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-20-2008, 08:41 AM
Punk Ass Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 17
Lmfao!!!!!
Mopal00 is offline  
post #13 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-20-2008, 08:56 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Badstreet USA
Posts: 316
pretty funny

01 cobra w/ nx 100 shot
99 lightning w/ kenne bell 2.3
juicedcobra is offline  
post #14 of 14 (permalink) Old 12-20-2008, 09:01 AM
v2004 rebooted.
 
talisman's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 30,955
Thumbs up

That's good stuff.
talisman is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome