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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-07-2008, 08:57 AM Thread Starter
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Talking Pick-Up Lines

My magic watch says that you don't have on any underwear. (She says yes I do) Damn! it must be 15 minutes fast

There are 206 bones in the human body... do you want another one?

A cat falls into the water & the rooster laughs. What's the moral of the story??? A wet pu**y alway's makes a happy c*ck.

See my friend over there? He wants to know if you think I'm cute.

That shirt is very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be coming too!

A boy gives a girl 12 roses. 11 fake, 1 real and he says to her " I will stop loving you when all the roses die"

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.

Do you have a keg in your pants? (No! Why?) Cause I'd like to tap that!

Say "I bet I can kiss you on the lips without touching you." and kiss her, then tell her you lost the bet.

If a fat man puts you in a bag at night, don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for Christmas.

You may fall from the sky, you may fall from a tree, but the best way to fall... is in love with me.

You're like a prize winning fish. I dont know whether to eat you or mount you.
The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I want to tell you your fortune. [Take her hand and write your phone number on it.] Your future is clear.

Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world!

It's a good thing that I have my library card. Why? Because I am totally checking you out!!

If you were a burger at McDonald's you'd be the McGorgeous.

Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!

I lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me?

If you were a booger I would pick you first
.
If your left leg is Thanksgiving, and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between the holidays?

Do you want to do math? Let's add a bed, subtract your clothes, divide your legs and multiply!

I have a snake and he wants to enter your garden.

Can you take me to the bakery? Because, I want a Cutiepie like you!

Was your Dad a baker? Because you've got a nice set of buns.

Is that a ladder in your pants... or the stairway to heaven?

If I had a garden I'd put your two lips and my two lips together.

If I followed you home, would you keep me?

Do you work for UPS? I could have sworn I saw you checking out my package.

Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

You know what would look good on you? Me!

Are you a pirate? Cause I want cho booty.

Do u sleep on your belly at night? If no, can I?

Do I know you? Cause you look a lot like my next girlfriend.

If I told you that you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can at least say a cute girl kissed me tonight?

I may not be the best-looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

[man] Excuse me, would you like to dance? [women] NO! [man] Maybe u didn't
hear me.... I said u look really fat in those pants!

Hi, my name's Fred, would you like to test my bed?

Here's $10. Drink until I am really good looking, then come and talk to me.

Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic ocean, and baby I'm lost at sea!

Excuse me, if I go straight this way, will I be able to reach your heart?

People call me John, but you can call me Tonight!

You're ugly, but you intrigue me...

Hey Girl let's play lion tamer...you get down on all fours and I'll stick my head in your mouth!

Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off.

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got FINE written all over you.

You turn my software into hardware!

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

Do you know karate? Cause your body's kickin!

You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

Roses Are Red, Candle Light Flickers, After The Meal, Its off With The Knickers.

You might as well sleep with me because I'm going to tell everybody we did it anyway.

I must be in heaven because I'm looking at an angel!

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be a McGorgeous.

Do you work for Cingular, Cause you're raisen my bar!

Let's have breakfast together tomorrow; shall I call you or nudge you?

I must be a snowflake, because I've fallen for you.

You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

I'm gay, think you can convert me?

Did the sun come up or did you just smile at me?

Did it hurt when you fell? [Girl: Huh?] When you fell from heaven?

Are you a Hurricane [name]? Cause you're blowing me away.

Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.

I'm going outside to make out... care to join me?

Polar Bear (HUh) I just wanted to break the ice.

Is your shirt felt? (No?) Do you want it to be?

Go up to a girl, ask her: "Do you know what winks and screws like a tiger?" [No] Then wink.

Violets are blue, roses are red, what is it going to take to get you into bed?

If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.

Somebody call the cops, because it's got to be illegal to look that good!

I would die a million deaths if it meant I could be with you!

If you were a laser you would be set on stunning.

Would you sleep with a stranger? [No] Then Hi, my name is...
Bond....James Bond

Lets play house, you be the screandoor and iIll bang you all night long.

Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?

Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?

Are you a gardener? I have a bush that needs a trim.

My name's [your name]. That's so you know what to scream in bed.

Could you please step away from the bar? You're melting all the ice!

(To someone working somewhere where a counter seperates you) You're like a drug to me. Good thing you're over the counter.

What do you and the weather have in common? You're both Hot!

I'm the 6, do you want to be the 9?

Are you a hooker? Cause I'm hooked on you.

Can you lick your nipples?
[No] Can I?
[Yes] Can you show me?

Are you form Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see!!!

Can I fish in your pond since all the others seem to be dry or closed?

(steps on some ice) Now that the ice is broken, what's your name?

A tall man to a short woman: "You're perfect height for what you want."

I'm going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

Love is four letters so is what me and you should do (other person: whats that?) F*CK

Damn girl, you make me feel like a loaf of bread...I wanna rise up in your oven!

(She asks you the time) Its two flirty and the date's with you and me.

Damn boy there's only 2 things I like riding up my ass, my G-String and you!

Girl you so fine I wish I could plant you and grow a whole feild of y'all!

We're like Little Ceasar's, we're Hot and Ready.

Hi, Iím Mr. Right--I heard you were looking for me.

I don't know much about pies but DAMN you make my banana cream.

I've noticed you noticing me and I'm just giving you notice that I've noticed you!

Is your name mickey? because your so FINE!

What has 148 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper!

Crap. Something is wrong with my cell phone. {Oh Really. What is that?} Its just that...your numbers not in it.

I'm not Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bedrock!

2004 GT Conv't

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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-09-2008, 06:03 PM
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All that shit and they don't have the best one.

Wanna go halves on a bastard?

┌∩┐(-_-)┌∩┐
That's directed at you, UHHHbama
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-09-2008, 07:47 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CoorsLightCoupe
All that shit and they don't have the best one.

Wanna go halves on a bastard?
LMAO!!!! never heard that one before.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Biggums View Post
It's the American way. I want to do the right thing, but only if it's on my terms and I can half ass my way through it.
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-10-2008, 11:14 AM
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How much does a polar bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice. Hi, I'm Brad.

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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-11-2008, 09:20 PM
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Lmfao......
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 10-13-2008, 11:04 AM
Time Served
 
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lol

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