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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 12:15 AM Thread Starter
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Michael Phelps..

Shamu is free to leave SeaWorld at anytime, but refuses to go back into open water due to a gambling debt in which he owes Michael Phelps $20.

Fertile females are not allowed in the pool after Phelps until the water has been boiled for twenty minutes.

A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Michael Phelps’ sperm can swim so well, they impregnated a woman who gave him a BJ.

Michael Phelps is the orca’s only known predator in the water.

Michael Phelps has swum through Atlantis, but he’s keeping it a secret because its the only place with more gold medals than him

Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.

You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.


I thought some of these were pretty funny, post any more you've seen or heard

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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 12:17 AM
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Exclamation

I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?









not me
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 12:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie
A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.
Blasphemies! Everybody knows there is no force that can compare to a Chuck Norris roundhouse, and Bob Denver never had a career.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB
I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?

not me
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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 12:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB
I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?









not me
completely out of context!

it's supposed to be

Who gives a shit?

[ ] me
[x] not me
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 12:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mutherjuggz
completely out of context!

it's supposed to be

Who gives a shit?

[ ] me
[x] not me

wat
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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 12:34 AM
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wat
nuttin
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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 06:18 AM
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he's no carl lewis.

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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 07:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie
Shamu is free to leave SeaWorld at anytime, but refuses to go back into open water due to a gambling debt in which he owes Michael Phelps $20.

Fertile females are not allowed in the pool after Phelps until the water has been boiled for twenty minutes.

A Michael Phelps flip-turn is the only phenomenon in the universe capable of canceling out the force of a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.

Michael Phelps’ sperm can swim so well, they impregnated a woman who gave him a BJ.

Michael Phelps is the orca’s only known predator in the water.

Michael Phelps has swum through Atlantis, but he’s keeping it a secret because its the only place with more gold medals than him

Michael Phelps once swam all the way to Gilligan’s Island just to have a threesome with Mary Ann and Ginger. He departed the next morning, taking only Bob Denver’s career with him.

You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.


I thought some of these were pretty funny, post any more you've seen or heard
.......
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 07:53 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MattB
I've got one.

Who gives a shit about Michael Phelps?









not me

good one LMAO

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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 07:59 AM
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he's no carl lewis.
You're right. Carl isn't even close.

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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 08:02 AM
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those were so funny, I pissed my fucking pants!

oh look, Michael Phelps is the greatest athlete ever! luckily he's a swimmer and there's fifty different events he can enter

(yes, the dude is fucking unreal at swimming)
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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 08:18 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbie

You only see Michael Phelps’ mother on TV because his father was Poseidon.
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.

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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 08:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgt Beavis
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.
I laughed. LOL. <-- (me laughing)

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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-20-2008, 01:40 PM
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Thumbs up

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgt Beavis
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.
That was funny!


Quote:
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Women: vaginal life support.
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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2008, 10:58 AM
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Nice...

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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-25-2008, 06:43 PM
 
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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-25-2008, 10:28 PM
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wow, that was just about the lamest series of jokes ever told !

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post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-26-2008, 12:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sgt Beavis
That's not his real mom.

Michael Phelps was born after Chuck Norris took a leak in Chesapeake bay and accidentally impregnated a dolphin.

best one of all!!

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