I really do love this country, but... - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-27-2008, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
Doing things the lazy way
 
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I really do love this country, but...

1. Only in America... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America... do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille.
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post #2 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-27-2008, 11:37 AM
mannish boy
 
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that shit was clever 15yrs ago
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post #3 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-27-2008, 06:49 PM
#4 Best QB Ever
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
that shit was clever 15yrs ago
No, not really.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
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post #4 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-28-2008, 07:21 AM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
that shit was clever 15yrs ago


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post #5 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-28-2008, 07:41 AM
mannish boy
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 10sec302
don't tell me you're still using an answering machine!?
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post #6 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-28-2008, 07:56 AM
Lifer
 
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Regular coke tast like shit I like diet coke.
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post #7 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-28-2008, 08:26 PM
Lifer
 
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If those pens are not chained down, people steal them and then the next person without a pen is fucked.
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post #8 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-29-2008, 07:02 AM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
don't tell me you're still using an answering machine!?


What can I say, my pager is broke.
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post #9 of 9 (permalink) Old 07-30-2008, 02:16 PM
$uper $low
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
don't tell me you're still using an answering machine!?
I am, but i call it "voicemail."

The tape in my cell phone takes forever to rewind.

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