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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-08-2008, 01:36 AM Thread Starter
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Ford & Tiger Woods

On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion
Into a gas station in a remote outport. The pump attendant obviously
Knows nothing about golf, greets him in a typical Newfoundland manner
Completely unaware of who he is.
'How's she cuttin' bye'' says the attendant.

Tiger nods a quick hello' and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As
He does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground.

'What are dose?' asks the attendant.

'They're called tees' replies Tiger.

'Well, what on god's earth are dey for?' inquires the attendant.

'They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving' says Tiger.

'Fookin Jaysus', says the Newfoundlander, 'Ford tinks of everyting
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-08-2008, 08:01 AM
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LOL, not bad

2004 GT Conv't


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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-08-2008, 10:21 AM
phuk therd gier
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Location: plano
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not bad

04 converted V8
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-08-2008, 11:51 AM
lol, this place sucks now
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Posts: 13,422
weak update to a classic joke

A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.

“What can I do for y’all?” asks the attendant. “Fill `er up with high test,” replies the driver. While the attendant is filling up the tank, he’s looking the car up and down. “What kinda car is this?” he asks. “I never seen one like it before.” “Well,” responds the driver, his chest swelling up with pride, “this, my boy is a 1999 Cadillac DeVille.”

“What all’s it got in it?” asks the attendant. “Well,” says the driver, “it has everything. It’s loaded with power steering, power seats, power sun roof, power mirrors, AM/FM radio with a 10 deck CD player in the trunk with 100 watts per channel, 8 speaker stereo, rack and pinion steering, disk brakes all around, leather interior, digital instrument package, and best of all, a 8.8 liter V12 engine.”

“Wow,” says the attendant, “that’s really something!” “How much do I owe you for the gasoline?” asks the driver. “That’ll be $30.17,” says the attendant.

The driver pulls out his money clip and peels off a $20 and a $10. He goes into his other pocket and pulls out a handful of change. Mixed up with the change are a few golf tees. “What are those little wooden things?” asks the attendant. “That’s what I put my balls on when I drive,” says the driver. “Wow,” says the attendant, “those Cadillac people think of everything!”
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-08-2008, 04:32 PM
Check out my decor!
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Location: The Colony
Posts: 8,952
lol... both made me laugh.

Happiness is not a goal, but a way of life.

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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-08-2008, 10:12 PM
#4 Best QB Ever
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Land of the Free
Posts: 29,339
LMAO, a Ford Fusion? Big ballin'!

Originally Posted by DON SVO View Post
Women: vaginal life support.
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