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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 09:31 AM Thread Starter
Lifer
 
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Police Quotes

Who knows if they're true or not, but some are funny.



These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos from
around the country



#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you
just went through."


#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch after you wear them a while."


#14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth
certificate a worthless document."


#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."


#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."


#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"


#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't
think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"


#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."


#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"


#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you
go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in
monkey crap."


#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."


#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."


#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"


#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're
allowed to write as many tickets as we can."


#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."


AND THE WINNER IS....


#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here."


DeWayne
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 09:34 AM
Aspiring Bean Counter.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 12SecondT-Bird

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we
don't. Sign here."
lmao! that's great!

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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 10:23 AM
 
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hahaha
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 10:32 AM
 
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Those were pretty good, lol.
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-25-2008, 07:37 PM
Fuzzy Flounder Fishin'
 
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9 and 1.

┌∩┐(-_-)┌∩┐
That's directed at you, UHHHbama
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 04-26-2008, 02:48 PM
Dead Stop Bobby :D
 
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lol i liked 'em all!
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