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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-12-2008, 10:27 PM Thread Starter
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Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding in the desert. Tonto stops suddenly and gets off his horse. He bends down on his hands and knees to listen.

He stands up and says, "Hmm... Buffalo come".

The Lone Ranger says, "How can you tell?"

Tonto says, "Ear sticky".
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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-13-2008, 11:16 AM
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The Lone Ranger and Tonto had been riding a long time in the hot desert sun when they came across a small town. They stopped at the general store for supplies. The horses were overheated from the sun and heat so the Lone Ranger told Tonto to run around the horses to make a breeze and cool them off. Tonto started running in circles and the Lone Ranger went into the store. A couple minutes later one of the townspeople came in and said "Hey Lone Ranger, you left your injun running."
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-13-2008, 04:58 PM
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LMFAO at the "Injun running."


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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-13-2008, 06:30 PM Thread Starter
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The Lone Ranger riding across the desert, comes across a beautiful woman, totally nude, staked out spread-eagle on the ground.

He steps off Silver and says "What have we here?"

The woman is crying, she says "Oh, thank goodness you are here, sir. A tribe of Indians surrounded our wagon, killed my husband, then tied me here on the ground. They took their turns raping me, then left me here to die."

Lone Ranger walks up to her, and as he unbuckles his gunbelt and pants, he says "Wow, lady, today just ain't your day, is it?"








The bad guys have captured the Lone Ranger, have him naked on the ground, and are about to shoot him.

?Do you have any last wishes?? one of them asks.

?Bring my horse, Silver, over here,? the Long Ranger replies.

They grant his wish, and the Lone Ranger whispers for a moment into Silver?s ear. Then Silver disappears over the horizon like lightning, and returns in just a few seconds with a big, beautiful woman in the saddle. She hops off Silver, strips, and in short order she and the Long Ranger enjoy themselves to the utmost, much to the delight of the bad guys.

When they?ve finished, another bad guy says, ?That looked like good fun. Do you have any other last wishes??

?Bring my horse, Silver, over here,? the Long Ranger replies.

Silver approaches, and the Long Ranger whispers into his ear, ?You idiot! I said posse!?


The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, they fell sound asleep.

Some hours later, Tonto wakes The Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabi, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."

"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?

Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "Kemo Sabi,
you dumb ass. It tell me someone stolen tent."
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 04-14-2008, 04:01 PM
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[QUOTE=BIGDUMMY

The bad guys have captured the Lone Ranger, have him naked on the ground, and are about to shoot him.

?Do you have any last wishes?? one of them asks.

?Bring my horse, Silver, over here,? the Long Ranger replies.

They grant his wish, and the Lone Ranger whispers for a moment into Silver?s ear. Then Silver disappears over the horizon like lightning, and returns in just a few seconds with a big, beautiful woman in the saddle. She hops off Silver, strips, and in short order she and the Long Ranger enjoy themselves to the utmost, much to the delight of the bad guys.

When they?ve finished, another bad guy says, ?That looked like good fun. Do you have any other last wishes??

?Bring my horse, Silver, over here,? the Long Ranger replies.

Silver approaches, and the Long Ranger whispers into his ear, ?You idiot! I said posse!?


."[/QUOTE]


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