When girls don't put out!! - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 12:47 AM Thread Starter
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When girls don't put out!!

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
This is really funny!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.lol

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

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post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 12:56 AM
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post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 08:33 AM
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Repost, BUT fucking good. Now if i could just remember that shit for my wife lol

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post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by clean90gt
When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.
Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!
This is really funny!!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.lol

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

thats the funniest thing ive ever heard
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post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 04:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chiggi04
thats the funniest thing ive ever heard
lol

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post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 07:03 PM Thread Starter
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the look on your significant other face would be priceless id love to do thatt then take a pic she would be owned!

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post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 08:40 PM
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thats worth the long read
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post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-22-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Repost..but well worth it. Very smart man..hope he returned it all lol.
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post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-23-2007, 03:03 AM
 
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good one lol
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post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-23-2007, 04:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 03machman
Repost..but well worth it. Very smart man..hope he returned it all lol.
They never made it to the register goofball.

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post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-23-2007, 04:55 PM
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Im saving that one

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post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-23-2007, 05:18 PM
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Ha I'll have to remember that one.
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post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-23-2007, 05:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 03machman
Repost..but well worth it. Very smart man..hope he returned it all lol.
Are you fucking serious..

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post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-23-2007, 07:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Justa4banger
Repost, BUT fucking good. Now if i could just remember that shit for my wife lol

marrying someone like that in the first place is where you went wrong...

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post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-24-2007, 09:29 AM
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Lolz!!

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post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-28-2007, 04:27 PM
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Brilliant! Who is this wonderful person? He should be given an award

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post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 08-28-2007, 05:46 PM
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I would make my wife read this but she already pays for her own stuff.
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