Letter From The Penis - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 09:34 PM Thread Starter
Lifer
 
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: none of your damn business
Posts: 2,252
Letter From The Penis

Dear Management,

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

1- I do physical labor
2- I work at great depths
3- I plunge head first into everything I do
4- I do not get weekends or public holidays off
5- I work in a damp environment
6- I don't get paid overtime
7- I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
8- I work in high temperatures
9- My work exposes me to contagious diseases

Dear Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:

1- You can not work 8 hours straight
2- You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
3- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
4- You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations
5- You do not take initiative -- you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
6- You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
7- You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective gear
8- You will retire well before you are 65
9- You are unable to work double shifts
10- You sometimes leave your designated work before you have completed the assigned task
11- And if that were not enough, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags

Sincerely,
The Management
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post #2 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 09:44 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 444
LoL..
Slo_Stng is offline  
post #3 of 3 (permalink) Old 06-16-2007, 11:22 AM
Lifer
 
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere in the past
Posts: 2,896
good one

IF YOU DON'T STAND BEHIND OUR TROOPS ~ FEEL FREE TO STAND IN FRONT OF THEM.
IN GOD WE TRUST
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