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post #1 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-30-2007, 03:20 PM Thread Starter
Thats against the law Man
 
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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I know it's a repost....

But this made me laugh again today....


FACT:
Leading hand sanitizers claim they kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

FACT:
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

FACT:
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.

FACT:
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

FACT:
Chuck Norris was originally cast as the main character in 24, but was replaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and save the day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

FACT:
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

FACT:
Chuck Norris can speak braille.

FACT:
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

FACT:
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.

FACT:
while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.

FACT:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

FACT:
If you spell Chuck Norris wrong on Google it doesn't say, "Did you mean Chuck Norris?" It simply replies, "Run while you still have the chance."

FACT:
Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

FACT:
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

FACT:
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.

FACT:
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

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post #2 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-30-2007, 04:32 PM
Banned
 
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lol at the virgin islands
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post #3 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-31-2007, 03:46 AM
Time Served
 
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yes a repeat. I would complain but chuck would beat my ass.

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post #4 of 7 (permalink) Old 05-31-2007, 10:47 AM
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Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

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post #5 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 05:08 AM
Sure Shot
 
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Always funny. I like the March - April one...

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post #6 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 07:23 AM
Old school 4-eye'd
 
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post #7 of 7 (permalink) Old 06-03-2007, 08:16 AM
I make this look good!
 
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Lmao

Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
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