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post #1 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 08:03 AM
stangchick74
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Dog diary vs. Cat diary

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
2:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
9:00 pm - Chased my tail in circles! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.

Bastards.

Tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
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post #2 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 08:05 AM
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Dogs rule. Cats, not so much.
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post #3 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 08:08 AM
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cats would kill you if they were bigger than you

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post #4 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 08:16 AM
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Quote:
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cats would kill you if they were bigger than you
I happened upon a cat in a junkyard once that almost was!!

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post #5 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 02:46 PM
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cats > dogs
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post #6 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 11:35 PM
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That cat sounds alot like Stewie!

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post #7 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-15-2007, 11:37 PM
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pinky and the brain
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post #8 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-16-2007, 07:00 PM
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fuck cats, dogs are way cooler.
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post #9 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-18-2007, 09:25 AM
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the cat does sound like stewie

btw cats are only usful in the barn

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post #10 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-21-2007, 07:46 PM
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i'm telling you that cats seriously WOULD kill us... who ever posted that above is a genius!!!

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post #11 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-22-2007, 12:11 AM
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i'm telling you that cats seriously WOULD kill us... who ever posted that above is a genius!!!
I AGREE
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post #12 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-23-2007, 10:05 PM
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itss all about dogs
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post #13 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-28-2007, 09:56 AM
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Dogs are stupid animals who do nothing but show attention to whomever is nearby with a hand to pet them with. Cats make you work for their affection.

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post #14 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-28-2007, 11:58 AM
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a good dog is always happy to see you, a true companion that you can take with you anywhere... a friend that will put its life on the line to protect you and your loved ones. they are excellent pets...

with most cats, YOU are the pet... I don't really get cat people
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post #15 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-28-2007, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
a good dog is always happy to see you, a true companion that you can take with you anywhere... a friend that will put its life on the line to protect you and your loved ones. they are excellent pets...

with most cats, YOU are the pet... I don't really get cat people
I think cats are aliens, and we are their 'project'.

Quote:
Originally Posted by HarrisonBT
I sound shit out man, lol. Firefox didnt have a suggestion. I figure A) I'm waay too far off, or B) It's spanish, and Firefox is an English Fox.

I facepalm myself.
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post #16 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-28-2007, 01:39 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
a good dog is always happy to see you, a true companion that you can take with you anywhere... a friend that will put its life on the line to protect you and your loved ones. they are excellent pets...

with most cats, YOU are the pet... I don't really get cat people
So true about larger dogs especially Mastiff's. My old dog that my wife now has changed from puppy to protective companion at about 2 years old he went from attention whore to "your not getting within 20 feet of this guy without my permission" attitude. Great for my wife was a little thing.

The two new ones that are rolling over 7 months now are going to be bigger and even more protective! Can't wait to see their full personalities come out given I spend 50x more time with them than I ever did with the first dog.


Cat's...? They are good for field goal practice and mopping the kitchen floor. That's about it....



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post #17 of 17 (permalink) Old 05-28-2007, 01:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cooter
a good dog is always happy to see you, a true companion that you can take with you anywhere... a friend that will put its life on the line to protect you and your loved ones. they are excellent pets...

with most cats, YOU are the pet... I don't really get cat people
Exactly. With my cat, I always felt like I was working to keep him happy and so I just ignored him.

But with my dog, he always follows me around, is always willing to eat something I drop on the floor, and never complains like the cat did.

Dogs are far greater than cats.

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