I owe my Mudda - DFWstangs Forums
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-15-2007, 07:39 PM Thread Starter
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I owe my Mudda

>1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
>"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.
>I just finished cleaning."
>
>2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
>"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
>
>3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
>"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you
>into the middle of next week!"
>
>4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
>" Because I said so, that's why."
>
>5. < B>My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
>"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
>you're not going to the store with me."
>
>6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
>"Make sure you wear clean underwear,!
>in case you're in an accident."
>
>7. My mother taught me IRONY.
>"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
>
>8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
>"Shut your mo uth and eat your supper."
>
>9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
>"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
>
>10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
>"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
>
>11 . My mother taught me about WEATHER.
>"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
>
>12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
>"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
>Don't exaggerate!"
>
>13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
>"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
>
>14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
>"Stop act ing like your father!"
>
>15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
>"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world
>who don't have wonderful parents like you do."
>
>16. My mother taughme about ANTICIPATION.
>"Just wait until we get home."
>
>17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
>"You are going to get it when you get home!"
>
>18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
>"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
>to get stuck that way."
>
>19. My mother taught me ESP.
>"Put your sweater on; don't you think
>I know when you are cold?"
>
>20. My mother taught me HUMOR .
>"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,
>don't come running to me."
>
>21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
>"If you don't eat your vegetables,
>you'll never grow up."
>
>22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
>"You're just like your father."
>
>23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
>"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
>you were born in a barn?"
>
>24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
>"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
>
>25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
>"One day! you'll have kids, and I hope
>they turn out just like you
>
>
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 01:21 AM
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25. I hope that one is not true.

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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 10:03 AM
Lifer
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 97blkpny
25. I hope that one is not true.
no shit

93 coupe 351/t56


In the words of President Teddy Roosevelt, " We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language... and we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people."


ive never been good at keeping directions i believe schedules are one of lifes worst infections


WELCOME TO TENNESSEE THE PATRON STATE OF SHOOTIN STUFF
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 11:16 AM
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Daddy taught me biology....."God gave you two ears and one mouth, he was trying to tell you something"

------------------------------------------------------------------------
El Duderino.......of the Crown Royal Cruisers




Quote:
Originally Posted by Sean88gt View Post
Jester, your posts do the same thing as going to a county fair, you really make people think "Hey, I'm not so fucked up after looking at that guy!"
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 10:24 PM
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Unfortunately it is true!

25. It is true! Except you won't remember.

I have a small list of retorts that appeared in "discussions" with the younglings.

Such gems as..I'm never gonna ground MY kids!!
"My kids will not have... a bedtime\curfew\chores".
" My kids will have... a new car when they get their drivers licence\complete privacy\credit card\allowance\cell phone...etc".

Bruce
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 10:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by egnorant
" My kids will have... a new car when they get their drivers licence\complete privacy\credit card\allowance\cell phone...etc".

Bruce
my ass! i'm tellin' you right now my kids will be getting abeater for their first, no matter my financial situation...after a while i might get them something better but that's only if they don't suck.

and they def. won't have a credit card or "complete privacy"...I almost want to say I can't wait to be a parent to be an asshole, but I don't want my life to be over yet.

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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 11:06 PM
I'll miss you Heather :(
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fitzwell
Daddy taught me biology....."God gave you two ears and one mouth, he was trying to tell you something"


its cuz u should listen twice as much as u talk! i heard that one all the time LOL

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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 04-16-2007, 11:30 PM
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Not mine!

Quote:
Originally Posted by chsretiredathlete
my ass! i'm tellin' you right now my kids will be getting abeater for their first, no matter my financial situation...after a while i might get them something better but that's only if they don't suck.

and they def. won't have a credit card or "complete privacy"...I almost want to say I can't wait to be a parent to be an asshole, but I don't want my life to be over yet.
These quotes were the gems from the mouth of a certain young lady between the age of 13 to 16.
I'm just gonna hold them over her head and giggle when she has her own kids.

Bruce
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