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post #1 of 1 (permalink) Old 03-03-2007, 10:19 AM Thread Starter
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: dfwmotorsports.net
Posts: 13,716
Farting in bed.

This Is A Story About A Couple Who Had Been Happily Married For Years.

The Only Friction In Their Marriage Was The
Husband's Habit Of Farting
Loudly Every Morning When He Awoke. The Noise Would
Wake His Wife And The
Smell Would Make Her Eyes Water And Make Her Gasp
For Air.

Every Morning She Would Plead With Him To Stop
Ripping Them Off Because It
Was Making Her Sick. He Told Her He Couldn't Stop
It And That It Was
Perfectly Natural. She Told Him To See A Doctor,
She Was Concerned That One
Day He Would Blow His Guts Out.

The Years Went By And He Continued To Rip Them Out.
Then One Thanksgiving
Morning As She Was Preparing The Turkey For Dinner
And He Was Upstairs Sound

Asleep, She Looked At The Innards And Neck, Gizzard,
Liver And All The Spare
Parts And A Malicious Thought Came To Her.

She Took The Bowl And Went Upstairs Where Her
Husband Was Sound Asleep

And, Gently Pulling The Bed Covers Back, She Pulled
Back The Elastic
Waistband Of His Underwear And Carefully Emptied The
Bowl Of Turkey Guts
Into His Shorts.

Some Time Later She Heard Her Husband Waken With His
Usual Trumpeting Which
Was Followed By A Blood Curdling Scream And The
Sound Of Frantic Footsteps
As He Ran Into The Bath Room. The Wife Could Hardly
Control Herself As She
Rolled On The Floor Laughing, Tears In Her Eyes!
After Years Of Torture She

Reckoned She Had Got Him Back Pretty Good..

About Twenty Minutes Later, Her Husband Came
Downstairs In His Bloodstained
Underpants With A Look Of Horror On His Face.

She Bit Her Lip As She Asked Him What Was The
Matter.

He Said, "honey You Were Right." "all These Years
You Have Warned Me And I
Didn't Listen To You".

"what Do You Mean?" Asked His Wife.

"well, You Always Told Me That One Day I Would End
Up Farting My Guts Out,
And Today It Finally Happened. But By The Grace Of
God, Some Vaseline And
Two Fingers, I Think I Got Most Of Them Back In

Last edited by sassystang; 03-03-2007 at 11:33 AM.
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