Quickies - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-20-2007, 07:17 AM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 0
Quickies

Quickie #1
One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed
in a very sexy nightie.
"Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."
So he tied her up and went fishing.

Quickie #2
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and
ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs,
"Honey, pack your bags. I won the damn lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my God! What should I pack, beach
stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get the hell out."

Quickie # 3
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right,
and the other is a husband.

Quickie #4

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's
license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The
optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

Quickie #5

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them,
"I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in
the convent."
"Thank God," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of
chardonnay."

Quickie #6

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my
GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get
MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me
when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels
like when I'm driving."

Quickie #7

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain
man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army
has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
rustydailey is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-20-2007, 07:42 AM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cleburne
Posts: 926
laughed a little
BIGDUMMY is offline  
post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-20-2007, 01:49 PM
who cares
 
sassystang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: dfwmotorsports.net
Posts: 13,716
funny
sassystang is offline  
 
post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 02-20-2007, 02:49 PM
Slingin rock on da corner
 
NTexas_V-Star's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Sherman TX
Posts: 3,451
i chuckled

Remember, some people are alive simply because it is illegal to kill them.


God Bless our Troops

Quote:
Originally Posted by Da Prez
my excuse is i dont give a fuck...
Quote:
Originally Posted by TonyMCev View Post
sass me again and see what happens...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yale View Post
I knew you were a titty hating fag the moment I met you.

2007 Harley Davidson Street Bob
2003 King Ranch F-150
NTexas_V-Star is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome