A Man's Christmas List - DFWstangs Forums
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-17-2006, 10:10 PM Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 1,249
A Man's Christmas List

If you are not done buying for your man here are some suggestions:
What to buy a man for Christmas.....
With the holidays approaching, use these rules when shopping for
men's gifts.

Rule #1
When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he
already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to
complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills.
No one knows why.

Rule #2
If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word
ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey
George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. " By the way, are you
through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.

Rule #3
If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car. A 99-
cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from
his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars.
No one knows why.

Rule #4
Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men
bathrobes. I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes,
he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.

Rule #5
You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have
worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV
with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips,
and flips, and flips.

Rule #6
Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit
in a cupboard for 23 years.

Rule #7
Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after shave or
deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy. And it will
last for 23 years.

Rule #8
Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a
couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely everywhere. Socks.
Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink. You get the idea.
No one knows why.

Rule #9
Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the
box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left

Rule #10
Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Fleet Farm,
Menards, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Expert Tire. NAPA Auto
Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh?
Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford
Fairlane? Wow! Thanks."

Rule #11
Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.
Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants
a hamburger?"

Rule #12
Tickets to any sporting events is a smart gift. However, he will not
appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why.

Rule #13
Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a Chainsaw. If
you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he
gets a label maker.

Rule #14
It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension
ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an extension
No one knows why.

Rule #15
Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins, or at
least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8"
manila rope.
No one knows why.
UNICORN is offline  
Sponsored Links
post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 06:36 AM
scootro's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: none of your fuckin business
Posts: 6,990

Keepin' The Old School Alive
scootro is offline  
post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-18-2006, 11:35 AM
Time Served
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Cleburne
Posts: 926
BIGDUMMY is offline  
post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-22-2006, 03:51 AM
I'm going Commando
RyanB's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: 469-323-7873
Posts: 7,526
Three people thought this joke was funny.
No one knows why.
RyanB is offline  
post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 12-23-2006, 02:59 PM
Time Served
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington/Lejune
Posts: 768
Originally Posted by RyanB
Three people thought this joke was funny.
No one knows why.

make that 4 people i lmao at it

R.I.P. Lcpl Ivan I. Wilson K.I.A. July 21 2008
89stang is offline  
Sponsored Links


Quick Reply

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:


Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome