A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.
The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
Q: Have you any grounds?
A: Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
Q: No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
A: It made of concrete.
Q: I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
A: No, we have carport, and not need one.
Q: I mean. What are your relations like?
A: All my relations still in Poland.
Q: Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
A: We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
Q: Does your wife beat you up?
A: No, I always up before her.
Q: Why do you want this divorce?
A: She going to kill me.
Q: What makes you think that?
A: I got proof.
Q: What kind of proof?
A: She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put in shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: "Polish Remover."