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post #1 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-13-2006, 01:05 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 725
Talking New Hallmark cards?

Naughty Greeting Cards!
Things you probably won't see on a Hallmark card:



10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.



8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.



6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!



4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".



2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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post #2 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-13-2006, 01:40 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Longview
Posts: 786
those are great
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post #3 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-16-2006, 02:00 AM
 
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Posts: 349
haha
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post #4 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-18-2006, 07:40 AM
Check out my decor!
 
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Location: The Colony
Posts: 8,952
#5 is hilarious!

http://www.myspace.com/missgirl01


Happiness is not a goal, but a way of life.

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post #5 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 12:05 PM
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Houston.
Posts: 79
ha

Quote:
Originally Posted by 99shestang
#5 is hilarious!
that was pretty damn funny, though if i used 5 my wife would probably never cook again still funny though

2012 Taurus SHO.
1991 Super street outlaw.
1997 gts built road race stang.
2003 ford 7.3 (BIG RED)
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post #6 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-19-2006, 04:44 PM
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Location: Saginasty
Posts: 1,527
Awesome!!! good post, great cards!!!

"I Approve This Message"
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post #7 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-21-2006, 01:16 AM
Merry HoHo
 
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: User Id: 30310 Name: SneakyDaPimp
Posts: 32,791
new number one

i have one hundred and fifty bucks
i bet you wish you did, i bet it sucks

.(OBAMA) One Big Ass Mistake America

Last edited by Billy; 07-21-2006 at 07:21 AM.
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post #8 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-21-2006, 01:23 AM
Lifer
 
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Grapevine
Posts: 5,515
My all time favorite:
This Valentines Day i didn't have the money to send you to a spa, So lay down and i'll give you a facil

Honesta Mors Turpi Vita Potior
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedLilPony
If you call me, I'll have phone sex with you.
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post #9 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-21-2006, 09:57 AM
lower case g
 
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fate, TX
Posts: 2,786
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy
new number one

i have one hundred and fifty bucks
i bet you wish you did, i bet it sucks

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post #10 of 10 (permalink) Old 07-24-2006, 01:42 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 8
Quote:
Originally Posted by purrrfectstang
Naughty Greeting Cards!
Things you probably won't see on a Hallmark card:



10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk
But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk.

9. Our love will never become cold and hollow
Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow.



8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store
In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore.

7. This feels so good, it feels so right
I just wish it wasn't $250 a night.



6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class
Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass.

5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished
But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!!



4. Through all the things that came to pass
Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass.

3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie
I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty".



2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny
So, right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny!

1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister,
you should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
nice

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