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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 04:41 PM Thread Starter
MFFL!
 
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Calorie Counting

Calorie Counting

It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the caloric expenditure of different sexual activities.Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent....................... 12 Calories
Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands........................ 8 Calories
With one hand.......................... 12 Calories
With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON PROTECTION::
With an erection....................... 6 Calories
Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:
Missionary............................. 12 Calories
69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories
69 standing up......................... 112 Calories
Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories
Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories

ORGASMING:
Real................................... 112 Calories
Fake.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:
20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories
30-39 years............................ 80 Calories
40-49 years............................ 124 Calories
50-59 years............................ 972 Calories
60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories
70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly................................. 32 Calories
In a hurry............................. 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 05:25 PM
Lifer
 
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LMAO!
That's funny......
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 05:32 PM
 
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That's awesome!! LOL!!
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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 06:06 PM
The Alpha Omega Frog
 
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Quote:
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories
Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories
Thats hilarious...love it.

Karen
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 10:54 PM
TMA
 
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Har Har!
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 10:55 PM
 
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Damn you TMA and you're ubiquitous HAR HARs....hehe
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 10:57 PM
TMA
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by LilCPop
Damn you TMA and you're ubiquitous HAR HARs....hehe
Both you and Marc get off my ass!
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 11:58 PM
 
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PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories


Not sure I agree with this calorie count though....
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-28-2002, 12:56 AM
 
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Dayum! That was hilarious. The whole thing..I love it!
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-28-2002, 01:59 AM
With the T-Tops off
 
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Now thats funny shit!
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 02-28-2002, 05:15 AM Thread Starter
MFFL!
 
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Quote:
Originally posted by TMA


Both you and Marc get off my ass!
Shut up biotch!
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 03-01-2002, 08:04 AM
WTF is Zed?
 
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funny stuff!
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