When your woman doesn't put out - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 12:41 PM Thread Starter
Googlist-Wikipedian
 
Hunt4m3x's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: de_aztec
Posts: 4,814
When your woman doesn't put out

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, "WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

2005 Infiniti G35 Sedan Ivory Pearl Premium

2006 Infiniti FX45 Liquid Platinum

2010 Polaris Ranger RZR S Orange Madness







Ban count: 2
Hunt4m3x is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 01:52 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,438
That is fucking awsome
needsastang80 is offline  
post #3 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 01:54 PM
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 247
Thumbs up

Ha!
Mr.BEANer is offline  
 
post #4 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 01:57 PM
Time Served
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Rasin Hell With A 302 !!!!!!
Posts: 641
that what im talking about! whos tha MAN!
F3AR M3 is offline  
post #5 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 02:10 PM
Full tilt boogie !!
 
Txstang1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: out yonder way
Posts: 10,208
LMAO.....good one.


OWNED>

**SKAGG NASTY** Just another 9 second street car.


Txstang1 is offline  
post #6 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 02:24 PM
11-05-09
 
Osiris's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Oh- sai- rus.
Posts: 21,428
Lmfao!!!
Osiris is offline  
post #7 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 02:55 PM
D
Sofa Kingdom
 
D's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Rapid City, SD
Posts: 9,335
Thumbs up

I've heard that before, but it makes me laugh every time. Good post.

D is offline  
post #8 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 02:57 PM
Pilgrim
 
Phillystang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 3,086
zing!
Phillystang is offline  
post #9 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 03:15 PM
4 Cams are better than 1
 
Juiced4V's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: TEXAS
Posts: 5,889
hell yeah that is bad @$$.....
Juiced4V is offline  
post #10 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 03:25 PM
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 4,050
I got the same email.
Michaelb303 is offline  
post #11 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-27-2006, 04:48 PM
BANNED
 
Pro88LX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Frisco
Posts: 8,348
Lol

Pro88LX is offline  
post #12 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-28-2006, 01:17 PM
Check out my decor!
 
99shestang's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Colony
Posts: 8,952
That was so hilarious! I couldn't quit laughing!
99shestang is offline  
post #13 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-28-2006, 09:07 PM
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,281
lol that was a good laugh
Fiction528 is offline  
post #14 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-28-2006, 10:34 PM
Hero in a half shell
 
Fobra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Richmond Tx
Posts: 2,584
lol

Fobra is offline  
post #15 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-28-2006, 10:39 PM
Lifer
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ellis County
Posts: 18,370
That vagina would be STAPLED shut, brutha...pussy would be a rumor.

CHL holder and Conservative...AKA "Domestic Terrorist"
Vertnut is offline  
post #16 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 06:31 PM
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,577
Hell Gyea
dankstang is offline  
post #17 of 18 (permalink) Old 06-30-2006, 06:37 PM
BIG SEXY
 
CantGetRight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Dallas,Tx
Posts: 1,619
BITCHES!!!!! Gotta love them!!!

-CArlos

ForcedInduction.net



EAT ME, BEAT ME, BITE ME, BLOW ME, SUCK ME, F*CK ME VERY SLOWLY!!!
CantGetRight is offline  
post #18 of 18 (permalink) Old 07-03-2006, 03:05 PM
in memory of "lil' Roy"
 
OMEGA DOOM's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: The LS1 side of mesquitoville,Tejas.
Posts: 11,775
thats a great repost!!! but still great!

winner of 5 out of 9 at the 2007 spring cruise!
winner of 2 out of 4 at Redline 7/21/07
winner of 4 out of 5 at the 10/21/07 fall cruise!
2009 spring cruise- won 1 out of 2 races!!!!!!
2010 spring cruise- 4 wins 2 losses but only raced 1 guy on my list and as usual couldn't find the others!!!!

RIP Roy Sebastion Fraga "lil' Roy" born december 7th 2010 gone back to heaven december 7th 2010 you will always be in our hearts and thoughts my special little grandson.
OMEGA DOOM is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome