note to a preist - DFWstangs Forums
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-26-2002, 11:44 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,450
note to a preist

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice. At the begining of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.


He proceeded to talk up a storm.


Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:


1. Sip the vodka, don't gulp.

2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.

3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.

4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.

5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.

6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.

7. The Father, Son and the holy Ghost are not refered to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.

8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.

9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, we do not say he was stoned off his ass

10. We do not refer to the cross as the

"Big T."

11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat for it is my body." He did not say,"Eat Me."

12. The Virgin Mary is not known as "Mary with the Cherry."

13.The recommended grace before a meal is not

Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.

14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at st.Peter's not a Peter pulling contest at St.Taffy's.
LilCPop is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 06:08 PM
The Alpha Omega Frog
 
Frogger's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Awaiting from the Shadows
Posts: 8,333
*chuckles*
Okay, your getting better, Clint.

Karen
Frogger is offline  
post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 08:43 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,450
Quote:
Originally posted by Frogger
*chuckles*
Okay, your getting better, Clint.

Karen
I'm trying!!
LilCPop is offline  
 
post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 02-27-2002, 11:01 PM
TMA
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 1,400
Wink

Har Har!
TMA is offline  
post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-01-2002, 07:56 AM
WTF is Zed?
 
UserX's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: www.dfwmustangs.net
Posts: 10,374
hehe
UserX is offline  
post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 03-02-2002, 07:15 AM
MFFL!
 
mustang_marc's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Carrollton
Posts: 15,423
Ha ha... I think I first saw this one about 3 years ago.. Comes up about every 6 months. Pretty funny though.
mustang_marc is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Bookmarks

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the DFWstangs Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in










Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome