Painting Your House
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Denton County, Texas
Anyone We Know?
RETIREMENT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE BORING!!!
Dear Mrs. Bates, Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. George Bates,
has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this
type of behavior and have considered banning your entire family from
shopping in any of our stores. We have documented all these incidents with
our video surveillance equipment. Three of our clerks are now attending
counseling for the emotional stress caused from the trouble your husband has
created. All of our complaints against Mr. Bates have been compiled and are
listed below. Mr. Wally Zimbrowski, Wal-Mart Complaint Department Carthage,
MEMO Re: Mr. George Bates Complaints - Things Mr. Bates has done while his
wife is shopping:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts
when they were not looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to individually go off at
3. July 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on the floor leading to the rest
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code
3' in housewares... and watched to see what would happen.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he would invite them in if they would bring pillows from the
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry
and asks, Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror,
and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the
clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly hum ming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, he practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through,
yelled "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he fell to
the floor in the fetal position and while loudly sucking his thumb, screamed
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
(And, last, but not least!)
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited several
minutes. Then, yelled, very loudly, "There's no toilet paper in here!"